MY LIFE

MOVED!

2011-07-31T20:53:00.002+08:00

Up and down

2011-07-13T16:01:00.003+08:00

It's been more than a week since I've been unemployed and honestly, I haven't done much. Its not that I don't know what I can do or don't want to do them, its just every morning when I wake up, I don't feel like doing a thing -inserts The Lazy Song- and time just flies while I watch guests in Martha Stewart show bake, facebook, check emails, read (finished 3 books in like 2 days), bake (made a chocolate cake today!) etc etc. So basically I'm just acting as a pig at home, eating and slacking, I don't even do housework (HEH) and pretty much not practising the dance for SAC also. Gah.

Went to the bank today to settle some A*STAR stuff and I swear I'll never be able to whiten myself unless I go London, where there's only like 4.5hrs of sun each day. The sun is a bitch, I've turned darker again. -.-

Perhaps I shld make a trip to JE library tmr, hmm, I've practically finish reading all the books I've borrowed!

HP7PART2 on saturday! YAY! :D

:O

2011-07-07T10:18:00.002+08:00

I woke up this morning with the part of my face near my chin slightly swollen and reddish, I DON'T KNOW WHY! D: Spammed aloe vera gel on it and I hope it will be okay because I need to go out later, gosh. D:

Everyday I'm shuffling

2011-07-02T20:58:00.004+08:00

You know how someone does a good deed to you and all you can do is to thank the person profusely because at that moment it was all that you could think of? Well, I just felt it.

A STRANGER CAME TO MY HOUSE TO RETURN ME MY WALLET, I WAS TOUCHED TO TEARS. Honestly, I've already given up hope on getting my wallet back. Today I went for the first SAC rehearsal thinking 'damn it I hate taking the train' and then 'damn it I don't have anything to exchange for the visitor pass'. Although I made an effort to ask the person at CCK mrt, it was just a feeble attempt and I said, 'no you didn't find any right?' before he can even answer. I was just feeling very pekcek, grumpy and sian cause really, how can I be happy about it?

And now, I know I'll probably never forget the stranger's face, and really, this had given me hope. He could have just dumped it to the nearest police station but he specially made the trip down and no words can express how grateful I am about it. I feel like I can never do enough to thank him and all I did was to stand there and thank him profusely. I hope he knows how much I appreciate his effort and that my 'Thank you's were all from the bottom of my heart. This has really taught me a lesson; who says Singaporeans are ungracious?

I guess nobody can really understand how I'm feeling now and how I felt when I looked through my stash of polaroids and notes -the thief only took my ezlink card, all my cash and my kopitiam card-, how they are all safely returned back to me and how I treasure them even more now!

Right now, I'm just too happy for words.

Thank you sir, for making my day!

Okay wait I just realised my PAssion card is gone too, should I be doing anything about it?!

This time it is really gone.

2011-07-01T13:46:00.005+08:00

I lost my wallet yesterday. Was extremely frustrated about it because I knew it will be gone forever. I haven't really lost my wallet since I was P1. Yes, there were instances when my wallet was nearly lost, like when I was 16 and it dropped onto the seat while I was alighting the bus and I only realised about it after alighting, resulting in me running back to the bus to get it back (Usain Bolt would have been proud of me!) or when it was somehow misplaced and ended up in Jessie's bag (till today both of us have no idea how that happened) but other than these instances I've never really lost it.

But I lost it while taking the train yesterday so I know its not coming back. My mind just keeps going back and replaying those scenes, all the possibilities of which I've narrowed down to 2: #1- It fell out of my bag (This is the optimistic view) #2-Someone took it out from my bag. I would hate it if #2 actually happens but really, I see no other way because I was in a really crowded train (I blame the rain and SMRT) and I was just one of the many sardines packed inside the cabin. However, I am trying my best not to pinpoint anyone or any events (like how I should have taken a bus straight to work despite the possibility of being late) and come to terms with it. It is lost and that is a fact.

But knowing me, I'll probably be harping on it for the next week. I remember pure anguish when I realise that I'll have to remake my IC but after sitting down and reflecting upon it - it is a good thing that so far I have come close to tears but yet to cry about it. Remember, crying is a mode of releasing emotions. Forget the IC, I lost my new POSB card with added security (was still happily telling jonl how I finally got mine after he got his since ages ago) and other membership cards like my new and unused Passion card, my ezlink card which still had over $15 in it etc etc. But more importantly, my polaroids, photos and notes! Those can never be reapplied for and it is with frustration when I think about them. Thus I shall not be listing them out for fear of ending the post in tears but just know that all are precious and now I only have memories of them. URGH. (And that is an understatement)

Whatever it is, I am feeling sore from this event and despite today being my first day of being unemployed since 4 months ago, I feel no joy. I can only think about my wallet, or the lack of it. Currently I have no access to my money at all and its going to take a few days before my card can be sent to me because I cannot produce any identification to collect my card immediately at the bank. Right now I am penniless. I only have less than $15 till I gain access to my account Poor me! (Pun intended).

OKAY ACTUALLY I JUST WANT TO SWEAR IT ALL OUT BUT NELSON ALWAYS TELL ME NOT TO SWEAR SO I SHALL BE NICE BUT JUST KNOW THAT PROFANITY MAKES LIFE BETTER, URGH.

Pretty please, just take my money and return me all the other things - one man's meat is another man's poison- they are price-less to you, just like they are priceless to me.

On another note, because I've become so poor, I now feel like isolating myself at home. Dang.

Last but not least, nelson finally POPped yesterday so he's going on his block leave and I'll have plenty of time to spend with him - just nice! (:

纸飞机快飞吧抛开烦恼自有解答

2011-06-24T21:31:00.002+08:00

I feel like I have eczema, D: Its been a week since the end of OBS and I'm still scratching and itching from the numerous vicious mosquito bites I've collated from the camp. -.-

On a side note, today marks the end of the pre-departure programme I've been having for the past 3.5days and as I said to Theo while on the way home, I don't know when I'll actually meet those guys again! :O But I guess its okay cause I'll be constantly connecting with them through our facebook group. (: We're the whackiest bunch ever!

This is truly a growing process - the whole meeting of people, communicating and understanding them and through that, learning important lessons from their own personal experiences - I guess that I've changed a little for the past 2 weeks. I just like the feeling of knowing I have people who "wont leave you behind"! (:

Random as it may be, after 4 days of drinking milk tea during our tea breaks, I am HIGHLY addicted to it and I'm going to miss it tmr! Gosh, for the first time, I truly understand the addiction to milk tea. But really, that tea was not like the milk tea sold in bubble tea stores, that was warm, surprisingly sweet to the right point tea! GAWK, when can I ever drink that kind of tea again!

I so need to make time for people around me; I must master the act of balancing my social life and my busy 'work' life!

Fear is an illusion.

2011-06-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot. Why? Because when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result.

If I’m going to jump into a pool of water, even though I can’t swim, I’m thinking about being able to swim at least enough to survive. I’m not jumping in thinking to myself, “I think I can swim, but maybe I’ll drown.” If jumping into any situation, I’m thinking I’m going to be successful. I’m not thinking about what happens if I fail.

But I can see how some people get frozen by that fear of failure. They get it from peers or from just thinking about the possibility of a negative result. They might be afraid of looking bad or being embarrassed. That’s not good enough for me.

I realised that if I was going to achieve anything in life, I had to be aggressive. I had to get out there and go for it. I don’t believe you can achieve anything by being passive. I know fear is an obstacle for some people, but it’s an illusion for me.

Once I’m there, I’m not thinking about anything except what I’m trying to accomplish. Any fear is an illusion. You think something is standing in your way, but nothing is really there. What is there is an opportunity to do your best and gain some success. If it turns out my best isn’t good enough, then at least I’ll never be able to look back and say I was too afraid to try. Maybe I just didn’t have it. Maybe I just wasn’t good enough. There’s nothing to be afraid of either. Failure always made me try harder the next time.

That’s why my advice has always been to “Think positive” and find fuel in failure. Sometimes failure actually just gets you closer to where you want to be. If I’m trying to fix a car, every time I try something that doesn’t work, I’m getting closer to finding the answer. The greatest inventions in the world had hundreds of failures before the answers were found.

I think fear sometimes comes from a lack of focus or concentration, especially in sports. If I stood at the free-throw line and thought about 10 million people watching me on the other side of the camera lens, I couldn’t have made anything.

So I mentally tried to put myself in a familiar place. I thought about all those times I shot free throws in practice and went through the same motion, the same technique that I had used thousands of times. So you relax and perform. After that you can’t control anything anyway. It’s out of your hands, so don’t worry about it.

It’s no different than making a presentation in the business world or doing a report for school. If you did all the things necessary, then it’s out of your hands. Either the clients liked the presentation or they didn’t. It’s up to the client, the buyer or the teacher.

I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. That’s why I wasn’t afraid to try baseball. I can’t say, “Well, I can’t do it because I’m afraid I may not make the team.” That’s not good enough for me. It doesn’t matter if you win as long as you give everything in your heart and work at it 100%.

Fear is an illusion.

-Michael Jordan.

Swan lake

2011-06-14T20:59:00.002+08:00

Had a filling lunch with qr and jing today @ barracks before heading to botanic gardens nearby to walk/take photos! Jing is flying on saturday alrdy! D: Gosh, how time flies!

OBS tmr. On my way home, I psychoed myself to spend the next 3 days to my v best since I have to do it, so I might as well do it optimistically!!!

Its slightly past 9 now, going to shower, do my final packing, call nel and sleep early!!

Bye! (for the next 3 days)

Not a trace

2011-06-12T15:06:00.002+08:00

I'm being stupid now HAHA using both my laptop and desktop.

I had a good dinner with my fellow colleagues on friday, pure spammage till I was so full! But I realised it was a good bonding time cause we hardly get to HTHT at work!

Yesterday was a crazy day I was so tired! Taught tuition in the morning, went for my OBS briefing, watched x-men with nel (Y)!! and headed to the PC fair.

I HEREBY DECLARE MY UTMOST LOVE FOR X-MEN. Honestly, I've been an absolute fan since I was young and the movie was so good! :D LOVE x-men to bits and pieces! X-men > batman! :D

Anw, tons of people in the PC fair and we met quite a few people too! It was crazy walking about trying to figure out which laptop to get but in the end I finally got it at a pretty good deal so that's good! Headed to fish and co for dinner and bnj for dessert yum! (:

Anw, my next week is really packed, URGH, and I really can't wait for 1st July to come.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENJY! :D

It was awesome chatting w you just now, please be less busy so the next time I plan sth you can actually be there!!!

Okay, I wanted to pack for OBS today but ah HECK. I feeling lazy!

Nuaaaa

2011-06-09T21:30:00.003+08:00

Feeling rather tired now because I haven't been sleeping well the past few nights (as usual! :C) I tried to sleep slightly later and ended up only waking up once in the middle of the night but in the end I was still feeling the fatigue in the day! D: Damn my sleeping pattern!

Went to get my fitness assessed last night, going to have lunch with fellow colleagues @ Seoul Garden tmr, going for pre-departure briefing, catching x-men and going IT fair on saturday; my days are packed this month! What with the pre-departure programmes and all. It is v tiring I swear, to have to settle something every night! Like now, I have to settle some Imperial stuff, gosh. D: And I still haven't decided on my accomodation -.-

P/S: Damien, if you see this, can you tell me what you're choosing/you've chosen!! Some help needed here! Thanks in advance! (:

Okay rawr, I don't get how I'm supposed to give my passport details and upload my stuff. -.-

Its 945pm now, shall go grab a snack and watch my show, rawr feeling irascible now!

T.T

2011-06-06T19:49:00.003+08:00

WHY IS MY PRE-DEPARTURE PROGRAMME OBS?!

Did everyone honestly had fun in OBS in secondary 3?

Cause honestly, I didn't, not really.

Let's just talk abt the things I rmbed from then.

#1: I think I was in Tenzing/Tenzine/sth like that! and the most memorable thing that happened got to be the fact that we trekked for 10km only, carrying our freaking 10kg haversacks only to find ourselves back to where we started!!!! >(

#2:I had tons of mosquito bites, somehow they just love my blood, and no amount of repellent could helped me. I rmb Jasmine declaring that the repellent her brother from army will definitely work!

#3: We failed in our rice cooking!! So it was disgusting.

#4: Me and wingyau had to take our maggiemee first cause we don't eat MSG.

#5: I stank. We didn't get to shower for more than a day and I rmbed feeling damn relieved after using the powder Melissa and Png brought. (DEFINITELY BRINGING THOSE OVER!!!)

#6: A lot of pots washing to do!!

#7: Math to be used, we had to count our tent hooks and I rmbed losing one in the pitch dark jungle - my only thought then was DAMN IT!!!

#8: No jetty jump!

#9: I got sunburnt on the back of my hands cause I applied sunblock everywhere except that area. (Of course, once bitten, twice shy!)

#10: Let's not forget scalp burnt!! (Eh, do people actually apply sunblock to their scalp?! -.-)

#11: I was so tired, I slept from 2-11 the moment I came back!!

#12: Sleep was impossible in the jungle, what with the bumpy surfaces and the fear of ants creeping into the tents.

And I can go on and on, but I guess you get the idea. How can anyone call this fun?!

ARGH, but after listing down all of the above, I've decided to think positively. At least I can,

#1: Not volunteer to read the map.

#2: Get some bloody strong repellent from somewhere!!!!

#3: Learn how to cook rice without using a rice cooker beforehand?

#4: still take my maggiemee without the MSG. :D

#5: BRING POWDER, LOADS LOADS LOADS!!!

#6: get used to pot washing. :O

#7: Improve my brain, which has degenerated over the past 6-7 months.

#8: Okay, so not doing jetty jump!

#9: Apply sunblock on every exposed area, duh!

#10: huh, must I wear a cap! D:

#11: I can still sleep my day away when I come back!

#12: Okay, is there any ant repellent available?!

But whatever it is, I can always hope for Camp A. I know the people there got to eat in the canteen (unfair much!) and well, mine is only 3D2N. They shldn't be treating us too badly, right?

-CROSSING FINGERS-

I'll pin you to my heart

2011-06-05T12:25:00.006+08:00

Shall talk about the week!

First 3 days of work was spent waiting for thursday to come - we were all wishing for haiyu to come back quick because things were getting stressful with all the decision making we had to do plus additional workload!

So on thursday I was damn glad when she came back!!! :D With all the food of course, heehee. Currently, I can't wait to be unemployed. I'm getting sick of my 830-530 job, I would have something with flexible hours so that I can work when I feel like it and stop when I don't, without worrying about not earning any moolah! :C Plus friends around me are mostly unemployed? WHAT FUN I SWEAR! D: So I'm in fact counting down to 30th June already!!! Not including the days I'm taking off for my pre-departure programmes, I currently have 12 more working days. What joy, seriously!!! Which means that after this week I'll only have 7 more working days HAHA, YES I CANNOT WAIT!! Not like my job is boring but the problem is, I have to do the same old thing every day and Dr Wong is overseas, so I can't assist him at all (my fav thing to do actl!). So yes, I am feeling sian! And I have this sudden urge to work in retail, IDK why!

Went to play pool with Ivy, qr, tc and jonj on saturday! Okay, so it was at some ulu serangoon place which I've never been before but the pool table is good and v little disturbance because we were in a country club! I had a lot of fun playing and laughing hahaha, guys we got to do it again! (: Then off to sengkang to meet nel (v far from home, I know!) and I had fun feeding fishes and birds. (: I realised sengkang has a lot of land that is pretty much unused?! A lot of potential for development, seriously!

Currently, I'm having trouble deciding on what kind of accommodation I want. Somehow, I'm okay with having a roommate and okay with not having one. I just can't decide!! And the deadline is 29th July so I'm procrastinating! :( I know I shouldn't but... honestly!!! I'm okay with not going for the best (too ex!) and I would rather not live so near school (20 mins away is fine!). URGH!!

Also, by the time I'm unemployed, my friends are probably getting rdy for school to start and all! D: I guess I'll be staying @ home to learn to cook and go grocery shopping with my mum! Actually I can't wait to learn how to cook, it will be fun! (:

Right now I have about 1.5hrs more before I sleep, shall go paint my nails! (:

And GSS is here, time to hit the stores!

我等到花儿也榭了

2011-05-26T22:22:00.000+08:00

A*STAR finally got back to me!!! What a wait, seriously, I think me and jiayi were really patient, it was like waiting for something to fill up this hole in some part of my life. Can't wait to get more information about the pre-departure programme but this means taking a total of 7 days leave!!!!! D: Totally like not working please, thank goodness Dr Wong will be overseas!

LORRAINE, I'M DAMN HAPPY FOR YOUUUUUUU! :D

V excited about life now! :D And tmr is fridayyyyyyyy! (:

Everybody just have a good time

2011-05-25T20:54:00.004+08:00

Past few days are really worth blogging about! (:

Sunday:

Went for a walk with my parents (bonding time!) at Dairy Farm Nature Reserve. We aimed to walk to the Singapore Quarry and back but ended up on the wrong route, got lost, and found ourselves near the starting point HAHAHA, DAMN LOSER. D: The good thing was when we took the mountain bike route we saw this block of really pretty hill that you won't expect to see in Sg!

Made brownies for my colleagues (under Elysia's request actually!) in the afternoon. HAHA, Elysia made them too but she burnt hers; her baking story damn funny LOLS.

Met up with MC-LE+Jonl for dinner at The Handburger and we just chatted and did a lot of catching up. Made me realise that without these sessions, I'll probably never meet up and get updates about my friends!

Monday:

Went for my first lesson with my new tutee and started reflecting about education in words. I wanted to pen my thoughts down that night, but upon reaching home I couldn't be bothered to - I could never use words to describe how I really feel. I always think these things are meant to be experienced and felt by oneself, and can never be told in words.

Tuesday:

Met up with Jing and QR! Lunched @ Soup Spoon and we walked the new Sentosa Boardwalk and entered Sentosa for fun. IT WAS FREAKING WARM ZOMG, but v clean sea! Then we headed back to Vivo for icecream and cake @ Awfully Chocolate before shopping around! GSS is here, time to start attacking the stores man.

Today:

:D Being with my teammates always make me v happy! (: Went to catch Jnrs' match with SAJC and naturally we won! Stayed for the match between ACJC and RI and WTF, screwed referee! >( Last monday, the referee didn't blow when AC's GS/GA (CAN'T RMB) shot an air ball and caught back the ball (reposession!) when we were playing with AC. Today, she didn't call when ACJC freaking stepped out of court and said PLAY ON. SIAO LAH. -.- Everyone saw her stepping out please, it wasn't even on the line, it was a whole foot out of the line!!! -.- QIANBIAN. Anw, damn exciting 3rd, 4th and extra time for the match. Basically in the first 2 quarters it didnt even feel like finals, don't know what both schools were doing but they weren't even playing -.- but in the 3rd & 4th quarters it finally felt like a proper game with them tied at 38 points - but RI eventually lost 44-42 to AC after 10 minutes of extra time. Damn ke xi cause I was supporting RI all the way! D: And sitting with the AC supporters didn't help.

Then we headed to JP for Pirates of the Carribean! For a person who doesn't follow, I must say the movie is really good. Johnny Depp is a freaking good actor and Sam Claflin is v shuai ZOMG. :O HAHAHA.

2 more workdays before the weekend comes! Can't wait for dance night actually! (:

HCI VS RJC

2011-05-19T22:17:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow is the day and as I quote, "The sky is the limit!". Won't be going down to catch the match but I'll be crossing my fingers real tight tomorrow! Good luck juniors! (:

Nel is booking out tmr, yay!

And I'm so glad tmr is friday already, cause I'm getting tired from work, haha.

Mid-May

2011-05-15T21:53:00.003+08:00

For the past few days, I:

had a sorethroat for ages -.-
firmed Imperial
baked choc-chip muffins
made a choco-nutella tart with qr
slept very early every night (like 10+!)
explored the new Clementi Mall a little (it feels a little like Nex)
watched episodes after episodes of House
found more people who are going to Imperial
realised that actually A LOT of people are going UK
got a call from NUS to go for the scholarship interview (they took damn long pls)
missed Nel ):

Tomorrow, I am going to:

work only for half a day!
watch the jnrs fight out with ACJC (hey jnrs, 58-43 with RVH is pretty close! :O)
spend the rest of the afternoon relaxing
meet up with Nel for dinner (He is finally going to book out!)

And I'm heading to Batam with family and relatives on tuesday just for the fun of it.

Off to bed!

This weather is killing me

2011-05-10T19:33:00.006+08:00

Anyone who frequents know I have a thing for tennis since I dont know, secondary school? I used to go wild over Prince of Tennis and watched every single episode/movie I could then. It was so crazy that in school I'll write ryoma echizen all over, I'll save pictures after pictures of him even though he was younger than me and still will be. And naturally, the love for digitally animated tennis lead to an infatuation for real world tennis. I've been a fan of Novak Djokovic for years and I used to lament about how he always lose to Federer or Radal and he never seemed to be able to get his butt off from his No. 3 spot but finally, after years of waiting, he is near the top.

Since last december, he has been on a winning streak in every tournament he participated in, thrashing Federer to gain the No. 2 spot and shocking Nadal with his strokes. This is truly his moment and today marks history where he finally beat Nadal 7-5, 6-4 on clay court (Nadal's speciality!) after 10 attempts. And may I remind everyone that he is only 23! What joy in fact, because next week he may actually push Nadal down to #2 and take the #1 throne - something I've been awaiting for ages.

So I await his good news, GO DJOKOVIC! :D

On another note, I'm sick. D: Wasn't feeling well since yesterday and I went to bed with a heavy head, woke up and didn't feel any better! ): I think the heat really got to me, despite my attempts to drink loads of water. Went to work feeling unwell and got even worse despite the medicine (Now, this is where I'll step in next time rawr). My colleague even commented that I looked pale and might I say that I'm actually pretty dark? Went home to sleep for an hour, then I woke up to catch couple of episodes of House before going back to bed again. A total pig but whatever. It is sad that my afternoon was spent in this manner! I don't know why but even before falling sick I was already feeling fatigue despite my regular sleep hours. ): I feel like I'm getting old.

I baked a cake on sunday, a recipe I got from my colleague, and I think my eggwhites beating was rather successful although every time I think back, I can't figure if it was just nice or a little overbeaten. Nonetheless, going to try more recipes that involve beating eggwhites!

Have yet to firm Imperial, I'm a little scared because it means that I'll really be getting out there and starting a 14 years journey. It's long but what's scary is not knowing what can happen.

All the best to those who are still waiting to hear from their scholarships! (:

Round 2 fixtures are out, HCNB vs AJC tmr, RVH on friday and ACJC (!!!) next monday!

Just 6 more days!

Cooling day but its pretty warm

2011-05-06T19:59:00.002+08:00

With the hype on the GE, its no wonder everyone is talking about it, especially on topics regarding the Aljunied GRC. So I chanced upon the chinese newspaper after dinner today and saw that my GRC (Holland-Bukit Timah) happens to be one of the five hot spots together with Aljunied GRC, Potong Pasir SMC, Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC and Hougang SMC. Which was really surprising because tbh, I don't really like the opposition (SDP, lead by Mr Tan Jee Say) on my side.

I'm not at the extreme ends but let's just start off with how Singapore is separated into the respective GRCs and SMCs. To quote my colleague, "I live in commonwealth but I can't vote". Why does Commonwealth fall under the Tanjong Pagar GRC? Why am I in the Holland-Bukit Timah GRC when I live in Bukit Panjang? To be honest, I know Dr Teo Ho Pin better than Dr Vivian Balakrishnan and that has got to say something. Not supporting either side, I would say that GRC is unfair, but more for the opposition. When it was first introduced in 1988, the oppositions had difficulties finding sufficient competent team members to form a team to compete for the GRCs and further more, PAP created GRCs to gain an advantage so that they can introduce fresh new candidates. If your GRC has Lee Kuan Yew, will it matter how lousy his other team members are? No, because one Lee Kuan Yew is enough to make you vote for PAP.

Another thing I heard these few days was a patient - an old lady- who promoted the opposition and urged other people to vote for them, only to end off with a line, "but I will vote for PAP because I want my lift to be upgraded." This week I happened to take a trip to Potong Pasir and from my observations, I have to admit that under Chiam See Tong, the place is pretty old and run down. I'm not faulting him because I think ultimately if the people are happy with the way things are working/worked, why not? I also think it is unfair for MM Lee to say that if Aljunied is won over by the oppositions, the people cannot expect PAP not to look after their own constituencies first. This is first and foremost, a good reason not to vote for the PAP. How can a government not remain impartial regardless of what party is involved? My government is not made up of a single party and if I can vote, I will not vote for one who is abusing his powers just to scare the citizens into voting for him. Yes, PAP has stood for years but ultimately, Singapore's reserves belong to the government and not PAP!

I don't live in Hougang but I believe it has been well-managed by Mr Low Thia Khiang. Once again, there must be a reason why the people living in Hougang loves him. Although right now I don't see the WP promising much other than their 8-point plan revealed yesterday, I believe that under Mr Low, he will make full use of the resources provided to improve the welfare of the people. So far our government has been fine with Mr Low and Mr Chiam in it, what's going to go wrong? I don't believe our government will collapse just because we have more oppositions. I believe in diversity, in debates, in varied opinions because ultimately, everyone in any party should place the citizens as the first priority.

Of course, I'm sounding pro-opposition now but actually, we all know that if Mr Low does get the Aljunied GRC, we're going to lose a good FA minister. Having heard Mr George Yeo spoke in HC, I know that he is an intellectual man who does care about his people. Frankly speaking, I'll be in a dilemma if I'm in the Aljunied GRC, so I'm hoping that the people will vote wisely and not waste their votes! I also think its important to think about what improvements can be made in our future lives, and not just focus on what has been done. As a colleague of mine says, "we must vote for our children!"

There's so many stories on both sides, its impossible to read everything!

On a side note, Nel is damn slack in tekong!!! I think he'll turn fat, which is really good cause he is a tad too skinny! My hair is long enough to be tied into a ponytail but I'm going to get it cut tmr!

Just to show you how much I mean it

2011-05-05T21:00:00.003+08:00

Yinhwee gave me a wake up call (not literally) yesterday when I realised that I really don't know much about what I should be preparing for my trip to UK and so I've decided to get started - first stop: accommodation!

I realised 95% of ICL's accommodation is self-catered?! Does this mean that I have to hone my cooking skills (currently non-existent) in Singapore before flying over or risk dying from hunger? And there's SO MANY halls to choose from, I don't know how people make their decisions. Simply put, making a single decision is enough to haunt me for days, talk about making 4592021784929603 more decisions! D:

Then there's visa, I only know mine is Tier 4 haha I SUCK. D: But that's for another night of reading. Right now, I need to look up on all the halls and decide!

Jing, honestly honestly, how did you do it! I THINK ITS CRAZY. D: But fear not, I shall remain undaunted.

Courts sells this spongebob squarepants sandwich machine so you can have toast with spongebob on it every morning! Now, if only they have the winnie the pooh series for this.

AND I HAVE AWESOME JUNIORS! :D They beat IJC 110-1 today, YESHHHHHH, OVER 100!!! What a fab way to end the first round!

So open up your heart

2011-05-04T19:47:00.003+08:00

Nelsong went in already! D:

Took half day leave today to send him in and it was so scary because I met his parents, paternal grandma and grand aunt, maternal aunt and grandpa. O.O Tell me if this is not considered overwhelming! :O

So yes, this pretty much marks the start of my 'single' life, HAHAHA. But I'm still okay cause I can be anti-social and do my own stuff. And not forgetting, I sounded/sound/is still sounding the horn. Offer package came in last week and I'm pretty much still in the midst of settling all the admin stuff and it just feels very unbelievable, because once I send my forms back, it marks the start of a journey that I don't know how it will turn out, but I've pretty much decided that at 19, I can still crash and burn. Although this means that I'll only end my bond at 33/34, I've decided that I'm okay with it, that no matter what happens I'll remain sanguine.

Work is actually getting more and more fun, because of all the jokes we make during our free time, so I've extended my work till end of june, cause I don't know what's going to happen in the next few months and the amount of preparation I need to do. Actually there's a lot to be done, but I've decided to take things step by step instead of making a whole list because that will be so overwhelming, I doubt I can take it. In fact, I realise I probably need a lot of help and advice, and what's worse, all the reading of the nitty gritty details. Oh dang. Shall take my time to read a little every night!

Time to settle my stuff!

May be?

2011-05-02T18:38:00.004+08:00

Another month arrives and I'm back reflecting on what I've done. Pretty much what I've not done actually, it's a long list and I don't know why but suddenly I'm sick of my life. It's all work and nothing much, pretty mundane. Not picking up new skills, not baking, not reading much - I've pretty much lost interest in anything and everything. It is a sad situation, I must admit. I've also come to realise there's so many people I've yet to meet up and I really need to make the effort! How I miss school, I can always stop and chat with people here and there but out of school, it takes a lot more planning and smses.

I've also realised I'm pretty rigid and how I wish I can change it. Like do something spontaneous for a moment, without worrying about the consequences. I only have one life. Which is why, ironically, even though I aim to live by "The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all", I've yet been brave. -.-

Spent the long weekends not doing much, stayed home mostly and sleep. Rawr, what has happened to my energy?

I miss my friends. ):

Let thee not embrace May yet

2011-04-28T21:51:00.006+08:00

Offer package came in today - further emphasis on how I can never do admin work - for there's so many things to do. Back to the Imperial vs UCL debate and I'm sick of it, really. No one can help me and I'm tired from just knowing there's so much for me to do and so many deadlines to meet. I guess I'm just wishing for someone to listen to my rambles but somehow even I find the rambling difficult. :(

@_$%_^($*@+$)%!_^($_(@+^(&*$(!_@)~|@%(@^+@_(Q)@(_@^)+#&)(@(#^!_|@)^(|&(!)+*)@_((&*)%!!!

You can count on me like 1,2,3.

2011-04-27T20:19:00.013+08:00

Some updates! (:

Went to this cute Charlie Brown cafe to eat on saturday and they have cute crepes!

Then we headed to FCP just for the fun of it and got bitten by so many mozzies I lost count. Well, either that or 1 mozzie bit me 194827301 times. Unfair cause someone was wearing jeans. D:

Caught limitless and NZT-48 is a cool idea, except for its scary side effects. Once again, it brings me back to one of my fav quotes, "The dose makes the poison".

Had dinner at The Handburger (yumyum!) and met Mr Poh! I swear he gossips behind my back cause when we left the place he continued to look at us with a certain kind of face HAHAHA.

Had dinner with LM, Larrie, JF and QY on monday and it's really been ages since I talked to them! Jinqing! Get well soon okay! We talked non-stopped and I realised I do miss the times when I had such innocent and pure fun - counting the number of times tintin said "okay" in 1 lesson, lamelefties!, doing math questions like crazy after school, and just not paying attention for the whole day at the back of the class. No photo cause we forgot to take one!

Caught RIO yesterday and Blu is really cute. Quite an interesting plot actually! (Okay, jq I realised I caught both rio and limitless liao HAHAHA)

Met CASSY! :D Hello girl, we must have dinner together soon!

Had dinner @ xinwang and I'm addicted to their papaya soup alreadyyyyy! :O

(bleah, blogger can't upload any of my photos!)

My work is getting slacker now that I have a new colleague who just came in on monday! Me and elysia are getting bored before we even start work HAHA, and honestly, with no Dr Wong's clinic today, this has got to be the slackest wednesday ever! Both of us ended up reading our books!

In fact, I'm currently reading Paulo Coelho's Like a flowing river which is just a book with bits and pieces of his observations, experiences and reflections. Although I do find that there are a bit much of ideas related to his religion (He's a Catholic!), I think anyone who reads the book can learn something from it. I'm 2/3 through the book and I find myself gaining quite a bit of insights already. One of which I must share here because I know not everyone will go read it. (:

The Funny Things About Human Beings

A man asked my friend Jaime Cohen: 'What is the human being's funniest characteristic?'

Cohen said: 'Our contradictoriness. We are in such a hurry to grow up, and then we long for our lost childhood. We make ourselves ill earning money, and then spend all our money on getting well again. We think so much about the future that we neglect the present, and thus experience neither the present nor the future. We live as if we were never going to die, and die as if we had never lived.'

I find the last line really true so right here, I urge us all to spend our every 'today's meaningfully.

Nel is going in next wed, ohno. He's going to be bald and I'm going to be bored. D:

Oh, and ask me anything at http://www.formspring.me/rougelette (:

So you better run, run, runaway, runaway, baby

2011-04-21T20:13:00.008+08:00

Long weekend ahead and I have nothing planned! D: Probably going to hole up at home and stone my days away.

Other than getting selected for NSS (BS), pretty much nothing interested is happening in my life. I must say that work is getting more fun and Dr Wong is getting much more easy to talk to haha. I used to maintain a rather strict assistant-doctor relationship with him but he pretty much gives interesting advice and answers any of my questions! (Y)

On a side note, dear MC, I feel like I haven't seen you guys for ages! D:

I have decided to take up the scholarship but feeling pretty lost now over the Imperial VS UCL choice. Perhaps I should list down my worries and see if any kind soul can give me some advice! (:

I've always been a UCL kind of girl because of the hype about the social life in the school, a plus bonus to its reputation. But now that I am seriously given the choice, I can't help but consider Imperial. There are pretty much a few things I have been looking into and I just can't decide.

First, if I'm going to Imperial, I'll probably have to change course to Pure Chemistry because Med Chem in Imperial is a Master degree, and as I quote, one condition of the scholarship is "Your securing confirmed placement in a Bachelor’s Degree programme at an overseas university approved by A*STAR;". Well, I've pretty much look at the Chemistry course and I realise I'm okay with it, because #1: IT'S STILL CHEMISTRY! and #2: I can always specialise when I take up my phD. Of course, no such worries for UCL because I've got an unconditional offer for the Med Chem (BSc) course.

Second, assuming that I get to decide between Imperial and UCL (ie I change course successfully), NOW WHAT. Imperial is more reputable for chemistry and the different rankings have proven that it is above UCL for it. Both are in London (IMPERIAL IS NEAR HYDE PARK!!!) so no argument in this. What I'm afraid of is the workload (students on forums state that Imperial definitely has more workload than UCL) and while we can't safely say that UCL has a better social life while Imperial is full of geeks, that has always been the impression. But imo, what kind of social life I have depends on what kind of people I hang out with!

Third, larrie went UK to look at the schools and found Imperial better. Okay, well I wasn't the one who went there but stillllll.

So pretty much, what's bugging me is the fact that I know that Imperial can provide a better education but is that what I want? Cause I prefer a balance between work and play but I can't believe the stereotype and think that going to Imperial = all work and no play! But... NAT IS GOING TO UCL! :O

Okay, so my friends shouldn't be influencing me,seeing as I can't decide who I want to pair up with if I go for a twin bed accomodation... PLUS, UCL and Imperial are only a 15mins public transport ride away?

So yes people, what will you do if you're me?

Don't Go Breaking My Heart

2011-04-18T21:59:00.002+08:00

I feel like catching a movie again! I think the whole idea of choosing a movie to watch is really funny. First, you probably caught a trailer or heard something about this new movie that is coming out. But what's important is not the plot at first, it is the actors and actresses involved. Plus points given to movies with your fav/likable actors and actresses. Then, you read the synopsis and you realise what it really is all about. Most of the time this is when you decide whether you'll catch it or not. If it suits you, it will go under your maybe list but it doesn't appeal to you, off it goes from the list. But I guess for those who are not so adventurous (like me!), you'll read the reviews. The funny thing is, much as I want to trust those reviews, I always have to take them with a pinch of salt because different people have different taste and end up back to square one. After reading tons of reviews, I can never really understand if the movie is worth my time and money.

But nuff said, all it takes for a movie to catch my eyes now are a romantic plot, friendly actors/actresses and cute characters.

Don't go breaking my heart, Rio, Hop, Norwegian Wood - WHICH ONE? Dang, I've been spending quite some time at the cathaycineplexes page.

On a side note, I realise I always take good news cautiously and bad news dramatically. Oh, what life.

Rain rain go away

2011-04-14T20:15:00.003+08:00

It's been raining non-stop! >( For the past 4 days, its been raining from late afternoon to evening and it really is v horrible because it just pours and pours and pours and... without any sign of stopping. I wonder where all the water comes from. Whatever it is, it makes me moody because I can't go for a run and I haven't done that for ages. :(

NTU is a bit crazy. I didn't finish my scholarship application because halfway through I decided there was no point since if I'm staying local I'll go NUS for sure. But they sent an email which asked me to confirm my attendance for the interview. I ignored it but this afternoon I got a call about it. So I told the person that I didn't actually complete my application and she was stunned but could not respond to the fact that they actually overlooked in this. -.-

Likewise, I did not accept the MOH scholarship but they sent an email to ask me to go for an adventure camp. Hahah, gosh.

Staying at home with nothing is so sian! ): I've just been playing games with nel and that's it. We lead a boring stay-at-home life and it just kept raining so I didn't feel like going out too. RAWR.

The interview in the morning went pretty well although it was really funny. Some girl went in and took more than 25 minutes but the next guy that went in took less than 5 minutes. I was so surprised I thought he came back cause the interviewers needed more time! Hahaha. Mine went on for 15 minutes, they asked pretty detailed questions, some I couldn't really answer, others I rambled, but overall, hmm it should be okay! Thanks friends like lm and glennnnnn for their concern heh. (: Glen lee, 我不会忘记我的根的! (: I heard they're giving out about 20-30 this year? Crossing fingers!

Yesh, one more working day till the weekends come! (: PLEASE STOP RAINING.

I wanna go cycling!

What a morning!

2011-04-14T08:24:00.002+08:00

It's so glorious having to wake up at anytime I want (Okay, maybe not really since I have to go for my interview but still!), have a good breakfast (half-boiled egg!!!) and talking to Lim Min (HELLO, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU FOR AGES!). And let's not forget the list of things I can do after the interview - bake, run, clear my stuffs and the like. (:

The only thing that can turn my good day around is that I'm falling sick! D: Have been spamming lozenges but they're not working. This morning I woke up with phlegm. The funny thing is how I was kind of wheezing then it sounded like a vibration so I kept thinking someone msged me -.- HAHAHAHA.

Okay, got to go get rdy! (:

I was born this way

2011-04-12T21:55:00.003+08:00

In short,

Lunch date with QR and Ivy! :D Ivy is really the best tablemate cause I rmb in P6 I did sth really bad and was banished to the side - she had to follow me!
Free Cone Day!
Aircraft game (Sorry, I can't rmb HAHAHA)
Xin Wang's Papaya soup noodle, yumyummm!
A*STAR final interview on thursday, 1030am!
Full day leave on thursday, yay! (:
Dreaming about my future many a times!
Crossing my fingers real hard for thursday!
Hei ren and fanfan getting married! :D (I think they're the sweetest couple!)

Okay, it's 10pm, shower time!

最重要的決定

2011-04-10T09:30:00.003+08:00

其实我们每天都在做最重要的决定。

The guys finally popped yesterday! (:

Some things have finally been finalised, I guess time does tell it all. Now I'm crossing my fingers real hard. I guess this week is all about second chances - we all need them.

Life is pretty much all the same but nonetheless,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOW QIAN RUI! :D :D :D

(Sorry jing, but this has to be posted, HAHA.)

I <3 YOU BESTIE! (:

Actually I have nothing much to update about but I can't wait for my final round of A*STAR interview because I want to ace it. :)

Heading to yufong's house later to meet up wit 7G, CAN'T WAIT! <3

"That's youth for you, it sets its own limits without even asking if the body can take it. Yet the body always does."

- Veronika decides to die

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTERRRRR! :D

Follow your heart but take your brain with you.

2011-04-04T21:20:00.002+08:00

All this thinking is making me very tired mentally.

Not my week! ):

2011-03-29T18:38:00.003+08:00

OHMYGOODNESS.
Okay I will not panick.
I will breathe in and out.
I will stick to my schedule.
I will stay calm.
I will survive.

Let me just list things out so I can stay focus:

Tuesday (aka today): - Get ready for tmr's interview!
- Start on NUS Scholarship essay (damn that exceptional achievement!)

Wednesday: - Score my MOH interview even though there's 7 interviewers!

Thursday: - Complete my essay by then. I WILL COME OUT WITH SOME EXCEPTIONAL ACHIEVEMENT. OH GOSH.

Friday: -A*Star MMPI TEST. PLEASE.DO.NOT.ASK.ME.ACADEMIC.RELATED.QNSES. JUST TEST MY PERSONALITY/CHARACTER. PLEASE.

Oh gosh, Idk if I should hope for this week to pass soon or pray that time passes by slowly so I can relax. I NEED TO RELAX.

Exceptional

2011-03-28T22:13:00.001+08:00

ex·cep·tion·al /ɪkˈsɛpʃənl/
[ik-sep-shuh-nl]

–adjective
1. forming an exception or rare instance; unusual; extraordinary: The warm weather was exceptional for January.
2. unusually excellent; superior: an exceptional violinist.
3. Education . (of a child)
a. being intellectually gifted.
b. being physically or especially mentally handicapped to an extent that special schooling is required.

Dear NUS, going by this definition, I have no such achievement that you require for the essay. Please tell me what all the normal students like me should do. Thanks.

最后还是回到了原点

2011-03-26T08:45:00.013+08:00

Haven't been coming here recently, pretty much because I'm either #1: Having a mundane life or #2: Too tired from having fun that I can't be bothered to post much. I think both are not mutally exclusive. Having had so many things happening, I'll probably just talk about them briefly.

#1: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO ME&WQ! :D Thanks awesome buds for celebrating our birthday and jonl I love my poifull! :D Heh heh, next time it will be me buying poifull to share okay, cause I always kope yours LOLS.

I HAVE AWESOME FRIENDS. :D

HONESTLY, ANY GIRL'S WISH!

#2: I went for a facial with my sister, mum and aunt last saturday and the person was horrible in dealing with my blackheads! ): OUCH, honestly, although I just bear the pain with no complaints, secretly cursing and swearing inside, HAHA.

#3: I finally applied for NUS and NTU! But not done yet cause there's still uni scholarships to apply for. Should I go for USP?

#4: All my 5 offers are finally here so I guess its really decision making time soon. Not showing off, but I must point our Warwick's stupidity,

"Dear Miss Tan

Following receipt of your recent examination results the University of Warwick has amended our offer from Conditional to Unconditional for a place to study on the F125 Chemistry with Medicinal Chemistry MChem degree."

-.- Sorry, but what's the difference?

#5: And if you think I'm really smart, I just got rejected by UC Berkeley! HAHAHA, ohh the way they phrased their rejection letter. LMAO.

"The Admissions decisions were very difficult this year, as competition for fall admission was exceptionally rigorous. Berkeley was able to admit less than a quarter of the 53,000-plus applicants, all of whom were very well qualified. I regret that many very talented and promising students will not be included in the freshman class as a result of this high level of selectivity."

So now I'm actually wondering if UPenn and Columbia will accept me, even though I'm not planning to go US anymore. Hmmm.

#6: MOH Interview next wednesday! :O JY scared me by telling me that there's 10 interviewers (I MEAN, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!). JQ, PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS NOT TRUE. D:

#7: I'm starting to understand the whole -you need to cut your hair every month- dilemma for short hair people. It's been a month and yes, I'm going to cut it already.

我和你手牵手说要一起走到最后

2011-03-14T21:16:00.003+08:00

Just some updates about my life!

2 days of weekends were spent at ntu and nus respectively and tbh, I find the talks rather boring and useless but truth is, sometimes no matter how many people you talk to, they can never help you to make that final decision. Of course my path is pretty clear cut, I'm just waiting for that scholarship to give me wings and bring me to UK. Of course part of me is actually hoping that well, I don't get anything and end up in Singapore (everyone please touch wood) but having gone to the two open houses, I can firmly say my heart belongs to another land. NTU probably has nothing much to offer me while NUS has a pharmacy course where the professor insist I won't have time to take up a minor. Boohoohoo. -.-

This week's work is different because I'm taking over Jessica so I'm really on my own and I can't afford to make any mistakes! D: But first day so far has been pretty good, I get to do things on my own pace (as they say, slow and steady wins the race!) and my colleagues pretty much let me take my own sweet time while helping me as and when I ask for it. But my half-days on tuesday and thursday have to be earned, because I can't leave till I finish my work. D: So I hope I can finish it tmr and on thursday! (Yay, I get to see you tmr. :D)

Pretty much enjoying life now because this week is a special week (to quote wq) for me and well, I'm starting to feel old. Saw kids playing at the playground and doing all the dangerous stuns that I used to do when I was young and I just felt like I'll never be doing them again! Childhood is something I still miss very much now and then.

Turning 19 in a few days, this I can actually wait.

Maximum of 3800 characters with space.

2011-03-10T20:29:00.003+08:00

PSC Essay! :( But I'm definitely starting today, yes go me!

This has been on my mind for quite a while. Every wednesday when I assist Dr Michael Wong, I would start thinking about my lifestyle and how terrible it is. I work from 830 to 530 from monday to friday so I don't even have time to go for a run or something after work because it takes ages for me to go home and by then, I would have been too exhausted from work. Then I spend my saturday and sunday mornings teaching tuition (actually, flexible hours) and somehow my afternoons will be gone with me doing IDK what, not forgetting the nights. So it really hits me when Dr Wong tells the patients to watch what they eat (they're mostly diabetic!) and exercise frequently. Also, the brochures and magazines at HFL with statements that goes: exercise for 30 minutes daily just glare at me all the time. I mean, honestly are you serious?

Okay, who am I kidding, I'm just lazy to go for a run. So it really is amazing when I hear Jessica telling that she used to run 6 times a week, honestly, that takes a hell lot of discipline, something I'm losing while in the process of change. And you know, I'm not even wanting to do this because I want to lose weight or something (although I have to admit, I could afford to lose a few pounds), but I really don't want to be the person consulting Dr Wong 20 years down the road. It will be really saddening to know I have to control my diet, that a few biscuits can actually shoot my blood glucose level way up high or when I skip meals I become hypoglycermia. Or when I have to eat 4 pills in the morning and 4 pills at night. Or take insulin shots. Or that my wounds isnt healing fast enough because I'm diabetic. Or I have to take B12 jabs every now and then. Honestly, (just like what my gp essay is all about), I'm all for medicine because as Paracelsus once said, "the dose makes the poison" and I do believe in vaccines and all but even drugs have their limitations. So while I'm still panicky about my scholarship applications, it's really time I start putting my health on a higher priority level.

So far the only running I'm doing is away from all the scholarship applications. Guess its time to run towards them huh.

Somehow I feel like making a flow chart about my nxt decision. Like scholarship: yes/no, then course then school etc etc. I now know less of what I want than before, oh the irony.

On a happier note, I no longer need to expect another email full of questions from Dr Dewi. (:
You know, it feels like I applied overseas universities just to see if I can actually get into them. So when the offers come, it feels like the journey has somehow ended. When they should be the start.

Busy bee

2011-03-09T20:55:00.003+08:00

Went into brightsparks and realised there's actually a whole lot of scholarships I can try for so now I'm busy trying to update my details and still thinking about the psc essay I have to write. (Someone explain why MOH can't have a separate application?) What makes it worse is that most application closes on 15 March and I absolutely do not have time to sit and research through, going out tmr and 2 open houses on my weekends, I am tight for time. :O And can someone please tell me why HSA doesn't provide a scholarship? :(

On another note, I'm turning 19 soon! (:
Yinhwee, I'm highly addicted to BBT! :O

P/S: If there is an "About yourself" column that is optional, will you fill it up?

Now what?

2011-03-06T13:44:00.004+08:00

I know I've got it all planned. I've always been the kind - I make lengthy to-do lists, plan before the week comes, know what I want to do and how I'm going to achieve it etc but sometimes I wish I was a little more laidback, relaxed. Of course, I've become better than before, I'm no longer that anxious little girl who freaks out when things do not go the way they are expected to, but at the same time, it's not enough. So while others are fumbling over their options after they got their results, I am in a state which is otherwise deemed abnormal.

How can anyone be so certain of what they want? Do they never fear that it may actually be phase, that 10 years down the road, I may feel that I wasted 4-5 years of my life studying for sth I may not like in the end? How do I know I actually like what I like now? With my grades, I've got hundreds of doors opening for me, and they sure are tempting. It's like walking down this corridor towards the very door you wanted all along, but along the way, the doors at the side open, and you take a peek, and you realise, hey, this may actually be fun. Then suddenly, you wish you can enter and leave any door any time you like.

What if what I am about to give up for the future does not commensurate to what I will gain in the future? There's this sense of helplessness, of never knowing what's going to happen. Perhaps its age, perhaps its not, perhaps its all part of growing up, but I think, I'm starting to lose that v part of me who would have plunged into anything anytime in the past without thinking about the consequences or what's ahead.

All my life I've been good but now, woah, I'm thinking what the hell
All I want is to mess around and I don't really care about

You know how one should always celebrate upon getting good results? I'm like, what is there to celebrate? I don't even know if where I'm heading to is right, because at the end of the day, happiness outweighs anything and everything. But with everything being so intangible, there is no one measuring machine invented just to weight these.

Adios February!

2011-02-28T20:49:00.002+08:00

Last day of february was the most hectic work day ever! D: Honestly, both me and elysia worked non-stopped from morning till we knocked off, except for that one hour break we had each. Gosh, my legs felt like they were going to break or something. After today, I've come to respect Dr Jane. She didn't complain a thing when we kept loading her with the SP and NYP students who came for medical checkup; I reckon 100 came, so I tried my best to help her all I can. Try handling a bunch of kiddos (okay they were fine) and their parents (!!!!!). I mean honestly, with so many people, do you not expect the LONG wait?! But no, I was peppered with complains and "eh why did the guy/girl after my son/daughter get to see the doctor before him/her?" FMLTTM, we arranged it in order okay! Hi fellow teenagers, pls do not bring your mummies next time. -.-

To make things worse, I felt like I was reenacting black swan because my left fingers were all dry with bits of skin coming out near the nails and I actually pulled some of them out in my frustration. D: Why is this happening to me, I'm alrdy putting handcream religiously every night! D: And my lips get dry v easily but lucky me lost my lipbalm (WHERE DID YOU GO!) -.- so I had to get another. I swear my working place is killing my skin. I think I need to soak myself in moisturiser before I go to work everyday. :O

Then again, it's goodbye february and hello MARCH! :D today, how time flies. But March is my month, so here's to 31 lovely Marchieee days! :D (It is not the month's fault that A lvl results are released on the 4th.)

Rapunzel rapunzel, let down your hair...?

2011-02-23T20:59:00.003+08:00

I finally did something life changing?

It's been a day since I had my short hair and I guess so far it ain't really that bad. Of course there are times where I look into the mirror and get stunned by the length (or the lack of) of my hair but there are also moments where I think the hair kinda suits me. So far, I've had mixed responses. There are people who tell me my long hair was nice and they're probably thinking 'What the heck did qianwen just do!', there are those who give thumbs up to my short hair, there are those who ask me isn't it hot with hair around but I think the best respond came from Jessica (colleague), who called me mei nv when I entered the room HAHAHA.

I've got to admit though, I look a bit like how I look when I was really young. The last time I had short hair was probably in P1! And it was all because my mum was too lazy to tie my hair for me, so my sister and I had to keep short hair! So naturally, the moment I knew how to tie my hair, it was long hair all the wayyyy till 18! This year I decided it was time for a change. I mean, having stopped studying, things have pretty much been changing like crazy, so why not go with the flow! (: Also, I think what Jason told me kind of struck me in my heart. Like how after turning 18 you'll feel old and the next moment you know you'll be 21! I don't want time to pass by as if I did nothing within those 2 years! So to commemorate my before turning 19 period, it's time to go short! :D So far it's pretty good. Like I don't have to tie my hair once I reach my work place so I save time. I save shampoo too! And I don't have use conditioner that often. The only downside is I'm still trying to get use to it, and secretly hoping I have no bad hair days! My hair can go wiry more easily now that it's short. I can't even hide it by tying it up or something! More importantly, my hairties! T.T Byeeee, I'll miss you guys for awhile huh! :O

Nowww, it will be good to shock more people with my short hair, HAHAHA. The old me would never have done this but guess what, I'm no longer that person anymoreeee! This calls for a celebration, and more spontaneity! :D
I'm secretly hoping you won't get a shock when you see my hair!!! Hahaha, love you! (:

The weight of the world on my shoulders

2011-02-20T20:33:00.003+08:00

不够朋友的，应该是我吧。

A burdened leader.

2011-02-19T19:29:00.003+08:00

Today has been pretty okay, it wasn't really busy like my weekdays (duh) and even though I had to travel to school for the UPenn interview and teach tuition in the afternoon, it was pretty good! Currently, I'm reading Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult and I'm going to be finishing it really soon!

Walking into the school grounds, it felt a little different and funnily I actually approached the security guard and got myself a visitor pass. It wasn't as if I felt like I didn't belong, but I didn't want to feel like I was trespassing on the grounds although school was always remain as a home to me. The security guard was really nice anyway, and surprisingly, an unfamiliar face.

So when I reached the consultation area, it was like November all over again. For a moment, I could see myself and the rest at our favourite spots studying and grumbling about it all. I saw us at our usual spots, like it was a saturday or sunday, studying and fooling around and suddenly, I just missed the times I had. You know how those who graduated always say studying is better than working? But to me, I think it is just different. There's no basis for comparison because you are doing two different things with different purposes. Just in school, you get this extra sense of security because you have your friends and teachers with you. As if nothing is going to change, and nothing bad will happen. Out there, you have to face new challenges and make new friends and working politics are inevitable.

The interview lasted for 25mins and it was pretty good. I could answer her questions but I guess I've come to realise that everytime I mention that I want to study medicinal chemistry and learn all about the drugs, people will definitely ask me, why not be a doctor? Perhaps they don't see it, but it's different. Being a doctor takes a lot of compassion, which is evident in Dr Michael Wong, but I know myself very well, that when things get difficult or when I'm tired, compassion is not going to be my top priority. I'm just not suited to be a doctor. Being a researcher, now that's a different thing. I can have my bad days and no one will be affected, because I'll just coop up in my laboratory and do my experiments. Sometimes I think it's the loner in me which makes being a researcher more suited for me. I happen to like solitude and privacy. But then again, with my current job, things are evidently changing. Having faced different types of patients since day 1, I'm starting to think that it ain't really that bad, because I'm rewarded with thankyous and smiles.

But I guess what really struck my heart during the trip back to school wasn't the interview but what happened later on. Some things just don't change. And some things change so rapidly, you need more than a moment to adapt and accept. For now, I'm just really sad that I can't be of any help. All I could do was stand there and listen while you ramble off all the problems you're facing and I saw them, but I could give you no advice nor help. I'm sorry. I could see your burdens, your heavy heart, your questions, your doubts and the gradual loss of determination and resilience but all I could tell you was to keep going on. It's tough, but you and I know if you lose it now, all will be gone. Part of me feels guilty for being one of those who burdened you with this heavy responsibility. Back then we all knew you were the one, but right now, I wish we can do something for you just to lessen your load. But you and I know, any interference should be minimal. Every team happens once and this team is yours. All I can say is, know that we're right behind you, giving you the support you need in our hearts. But I'm really glad you can find support from another channel too, one where you can peace with. Jiayou!, you're tough and you know you can do it!

Just what did 2 months do to you guys?

Despite knowing change is inevitable, I've yet to learn to embrace it each time it comes, and it comes so often. I guess life is just a neverending learning process but some days, I learn so much I need to reflect.

2 more weeks; peeps, the stuff they want to give us on the actual day are already in the hall. Just not sorted.

It's friday already?

2011-02-18T21:55:00.002+08:00

Time flies when you're working (never when you're studying, well unless you're studying for As!)

I have a UPenn interview tmr, I'm alrdy regretting signin up for it cause it's optional. Tell me why I did it! D: I absolutely have no idea how to prepare for it and half of me is feeling like I shld heck it since I have my offers (okay, so only one is good) but the half is telling me I wont be able to meet my offers! UCL, why are you traumatising me with questions I don't know how to answer instead of just offering me a placing, D:

Unbelievably, a new temp staff came to work on wednesday and she's from hc too! Me and elysia were chatting today (SLACK DAY) and how in 2 weeks time we're going to be receiving our results and what not! D: Please let them be alright! POP nxt week but Idk what time it starts! Definitely wanna go back though!

I need to runnnnnnn, can't wait for nxt saturday! Haven't seen nat and kinkin in ages! :O

我懂失去的悲伤, 也懂进退的挣扎

2011-02-08T20:18:00.003+08:00

These few days have been really hectic! Starting from day 1 of CNY till today, I've yet to have proper sleeping time, :( But CNY has been absolute fun! Reunion dinner was surprisingly rather heartwarming, day 1 I had fun reuniting with cousins that I hardly meet and joking about!, day 2 I had fun gambling my whole day away, day 3 was awesome because I went xy's and cassy's hse and playing mj with aaron, sandra, jonl, cca and wenhao was especially fun cause we just kept niao-ing cca haha, day 4 was more fun at wq's house where we got to meet jane! (Yufong I'm so damn proud of you!) and watch as the 3 guys lose their hair just to protect our country.

Yesterday I started work and headed to F1 pit for chingay after that so it was really tiring. I just kept yawning my way there! But chingay was surprisingly fun haha, getting to know people like jason and huifang whom I have no problem chatting to! (: Work ytd was hectic for my first day! But it was better today cause halfday at the clinic! So far, so good. (:

Tonight, I'm going to sleep by 11pm! Because tmr is an exciting day -- assisting Dr Michael Wong! (IKR, what a coincidence, I mean the name). It's been pretty cool so far and I hope it stays this way throughout! I guess the bad side is that I'm standing so much, my legs are going to break soon. Haha, aches!

Hope you guys had fun during CNY too and byebye guys going in! JIAYOUS! (:

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! :D

2011-02-03T10:11:00.003+08:00

又是新的一年，希望大家在这一年可以过得很充实，很快乐，也很幸福!
也希望你天天都脸带笑容！

This is the reality I'm talking about.

2011-01-29T23:06:00.004+08:00

TAIWAN WAS AWESOME! :D

I fell sick, had LOADS of fun, didn't take much photos cause I was too lazy!

Dilemma before flying, HAHA.

2011-01-21T11:01:00.003+08:00

Should I concede that Idk about how long the average bond is?! D: I don't get it, average bond lengths are different for different bonds!!!!! D:
WHY MUST BENZENE BE A LIQUID HUH, can't use Xray crystallography. -.-

Okay, ignore me, haha, I'm just being frustrated over having to answer these questions before I flyyyyyy! :O

Miss me! (:

TAIWAN, HERE I COME!!!!! :D

I'm starting to think going overseas may not be a good thing, my mind is like a maelstrom now. D: Maybe you're right, I don't see the big pucture, I don't look out for possible problems.

The battle's in your hands now

2011-01-18T23:49:00.006+08:00

I'm still chilling! (: (Dude, I wonder if you'll see this, HAHA)

With passing days, I'm coming to realise that things can really change so quickly, we always have to expect the unexpected. Of course with this comes all the possible challenges and possibilities, nothing can now be deemed as impossible and yet the possible may be impossible. Just today, I was taking a long walk down the street in the morning and with all the time I had, my mind just kept replaying past conversations with friends, all the random comments from their observations, their predictions and how true/untrue they are. Simply from these, it is really evident that every second is different and yet, I'm constantly amused by what they've said -- them being so adamant on what they think will happen. Sadly, I've come to realise that no matter what I say, no matter how I insist, things I say will not always come true. My words are not worth as much as they can be.

Hippos outing on sunday! (: Finally got to see Chai after so long! Dear Mr Chai, please include as part of your retirement plan, hahaha. Until now, I find the bond I have with Chai so inexplicable, it's a mixture of respect, awe, admiration and so much more. How anyone can view life in such a perspective is a wonder, so rationale yet so sensitive at the same time. So accepting, never judging and at the same time, have the ability to make you feel that whatever decisions you make is right. Chai is honestly the best tcher I've ever met. :)
(BLEAH BLOGGER DOESNT ALLOW ME TO UPLOAD PHOTO RAWRRRR)

TW IN THREE DAYS OMGGGGG!!!! :D :D :D

Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain

"...but I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other, for those were some of the best times of my life. "

2011-01-17T08:10:00.003+08:00

Bright, shiny and new
Acronyms can really baffle, FYI

READ THEM! :D

Okay, actually I wanted to blog about our hippos outing but I'm too tired to write long paragraphs now so I guess it will have to wait!

CAN'T WAIT FOR TW~~ But I'm not ready! D:

But I kinda know that I won't get far

2011-01-14T16:07:00.003+08:00

Today is not the usual, normal rotting at home day.
I can never understand how can it be wrong when everything feels so right. Didn't it?

I watched superman fly away

2011-01-12T15:20:00.006+08:00

Back from Open House, I shall blog in point forms cause I'm v tired! :O

Played bball with zixin, francis (mr eligible, honestly!) and a bunch of sec 4s from high school who's really a mixed bunch that plays bball well! There was this guy who persistently guarded me and damn gu yi bully me, hahah, I think he was just teasing me and blehhhh, he gave the "you're a netballer" comment just from looking at the way I shoot. -.- I know it's v obvious but still! And I cant believe he's from gymnast wth hahaha.
MAD's performance was damn good. But I meant the guys. QR, did you go? Shaowee's performance was damn zai wth HAHAHA, I eat his chocs also nvr think he's that zai LOLS.
Didn't see a lot of juniors but quite a fair bit of snrs went back! (:
Didn't see a single of my teachers at all!!!! -.-
Played street netball, Amelia is funny as always, hahah. Play with her I just laugh like some siao zha bor can liao.
IVP today!!!!!!!!, shit man, too bad I promised glen I'll be down today if not I'll have gone to catch NUS vs NTU. D: Jiao lian!!!!! D:

So ytd I was feeling v ambivalent upon knowing the news (I know it's damn good news but...) and I was just stoning my night away thinking but today, I'm freed. I'm starting to feel how good the news it is, HAHAHA. It's like OMFG!!!! I read the email 3058210724609 times since ytd. Hahha, it's just this unbelievable!!!! :D

So I'm like this now. HAHAHA.!!! :D

P/S: WQ! I finally got the email! Hahaha, they're so slowwww. Lols.

First day of school! (Oh wait, not for mehhhh)

2011-01-10T08:56:00.003+08:00

This morning I woke up motivated to do something that will render my time well spent. This, I have yet to decide, but for sure it will happen. Since the juniors are starting school and spending their time well, I've decided that so should I.

With no new year resolution then, I've decided from today that I will start interacting with friends that I don't usually talk to on MSN even though we're close! I must not lost my contacts after leaving school!!!

Actually, this morning I woke up thinking my sister is still in bed but HAHAHA her school starts today so I'm home alone! (:

My life starts today!

我自由了!

2011-01-06T23:08:00.002+08:00

I COMPLETED MY UCAS!!!!! YESSSSSSSS!!!!!! -floats on cloud 9-
It really is a great feeling; I doubt I can fall asleep later but yes it feels so good because I no longer need to write essays about myself! :DDDDD & our school is damn fast, less than 15 minutes after sendin my application, I received the confirmation email that UCAS has received my application from school. WOOHOO.

Now all I need to panick abt is the UPenn interview. :O Shall send in my reply tmr!

So do you know what this means?
It means getting out of the house to play/find work/run/do whatever shit I want without feeling the guilt. I've been waiting for this day for ages!

Guess when things get better, it just has to get even better! :D
Pigggg, bu yao stone le okay, Idk what time you'll see this but if it's late then you shld be sleeping! (: SMILE MORE! :D

Bad Sleep >(

2011-01-06T08:25:00.001+08:00

I woke up at 4+, 5+ and 6+ and finally got up at 8. -.- Had 2 weird random dreams, the first one was abt snakes D: There were about 4 of them?! And the second was us MC + the rest at this popular at ion which was v weird because it was connected to Cotton On. Hahaha. I lost my slippers there somehow and yinhwee told me she couldn't find the pen (Just went to check, its pilot P-500).

Since it's so early, I'm going to house before continuing my UCAS. It's going to be sent in tonight!!! Gosh, I wish I had good english, then I can just be confident in my own essay without letting anyone check. D: OHWELL! Today will be a good day. (Actually tmr will be better!) Just need to pop back to cwp to settle my phone -.-. But it's v chio so I don't mind the wait. OKAY, HOUSEEEE! (:

Oh yeah, I need to settle our outing on sunday too, gosh!

Here's to 1-1-11

2010-12-31T23:59:00.004+08:00

2010 is ending so silently.

For the past year, things have been really different from 2009. I still had fun but it was more serious work with the endless muggin' for As, turning 18, planning for my future etc.

To be honest, I can't even remember how it started off like but I know it was all about HCNB then. HCNB is the love. I feel so lucky to have this bunch of team mates with me throughout the past 2 years. I remember how shitty the start was, with mel's never ending taunts, two separate cliques because we were so damn different, bloody tiring trainings, throwing balls till we couldn't even see it, BEEP TEST!!!! >( but not forgetting the fun -- secretly going for friendly with Mannas at Kallang and being spotted by Ms Lin (well, what luck, haha), sleepovers at oli's house, prank calls (I'll never forget this!), squeezing the 14 of us in a 7-seater, being dumped into the pool, one particular training that ended at 3pm we were starving like mad we headed to railway mall for subway, morning passes, throws and games, 大口!!!, zham ball, angel and mortal letters, lunches near school, street netball, game on, gossiping like mad (Y), crying during speeches (sry that one time I was just damn emotional, HAHA) ... the list is endless. Definitely, no regrets. To me our best achievement ain't the placings we got for 2009/2010, it was the rapport between us, the bond, the understanding, without which, any game on court would have been made impossible. This is what a team should be like. Love you guys a lot. (:

7G, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST CLASSMATES EVERRRRRRRR!!!! :D I love how we are so in sync for everything and we can go wild together, play hard and work hard. :D I rmb how studying for As was so tiring but knowing that you guys were out there at the same battlefield makes everything seem easier. & the support, I always have people who can help me in my work: all the smartasses like yf and tseyean, haha. I'm so proud to be part of this class! :D You guys are the one who show me that it was possible to connect with anyone and everyone! :D Love you guys, muacks! :D

H3 MATES (Okay, I know none of them will see this except for my classmates like my, but still!) I think we're a cool bunch okay! Tutorials and lectures are ever so entertaining and funny! :D Hahaha, love joking with you guys, talking plain crap, whining over how tough the questions were, niaoing ppl like melvin because he always score so high, our support for yunhao while he was out there playing while we were having tutorial, taking prelims and As together and all that. :D I'm so glad to have known you guys! (:

So here's to 2011. Perhaps 2010 wasn't much of a bomb, but I'm pretty sure everyone had experienced happiness, pain, regrets, joy, sorrow, anger, jealousy, envy and all sorts of emotions. With all that, 2010 was certainly well spent.

Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me

2010-12-30T00:21:00.004+08:00

HCNB 2009/2010 LOVE YOU MANY MANY! :D

So we had farewell today's at yuxuan's condo's function room and it was so different from last year because when we started our speeches, there were no adults around at all. Last year we had jiao lian so I guess everyone didn't really dare to say much but this year it was so free and easy. Just simply enjoying time together again and reminiscencing abt the past and gossiping HAHA.

Thanks juniors for the gift! It is so pretty I swear I will protect it will my life, love it a lot! (: It still feels very surreal; I realised that even with farewell, my heart will always be with HCNB forever and it's really heartening to know that we have come so far and achieved so much within a year. It's really the shit we've been through that brought us thus far. (I pray for jiemin that everything will be okay!!!) I want to watch IVP! :D (& hopefully char's bf will be there, lols!)

Headed to school for bball in the morning too, gosh it's been ages seriously, but I had fun even though it was really tiring! We played for 3hrs, gosh. (: Afternoon spent with team mates were lovely, haha it's been ages since we last hung out together no? Kbox outing soon pls, I promise not to spam Taylor Swift !(wl, I'm not a fan, I repeat, not a fannnnnn) :DDDD & maybe we shld just ask char, mel and siqi along hahah. :DDDD

Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D

2010-12-24T22:30:00.004+08:00

So I wouldn't be awake when christmas comes because I'm heading to Msia for a day tmr. Need to wake up at 5am, I think the last time I did that was when I was studying for As?! That seems ages ago! I really can't wait for sleepover, haha. :D Can't wait to see all my classmates! (:

So I looked through my archives -- I find them pretty useful at times -- today and saw my 2009 post on the year itself. It brought back a lot of memories and thinking now, 2010 was just really different. I didn't have much fun, but more like a different kind of fun. It was pretty serious in fact, being a senior and all that but I guess it was still good.

STJ was pretty fun, I got darker (dang the sun, honestly) and took photos. Pretty relaxing if only the sun wasn't that hot. Farewell next week, I can't believe I'm ending my HCNB journey, seems like yesterday when I just met Mel and her qianbian face, HAHAHA. & we're kinda screwed cause we haven't prepared our gifts? Haha. Shit.

These few days have been passing like a whirl. I thought time was supposed to pass slowly when you've got nothing to do! :O I'm way better now, recovered and I can singgggg (finally) so all's good. Well, until I wake up tmr. I always feel the worst when I just wake up. D:

So here's wishing everyone a Merry Christmas! (:
Miss me! :D

Dear brain,

2010-12-21T19:57:00.002+08:00

TYVM!!! for not failing me even after As! :D :D :D
超开心的！I mean, okay of course SAT subject tests are reasonably easy but still! Hahha, :D Yay, full marks for both! :D

& I'm feeling better now, haha I think I always feel better at night! Dance on thursdayyyy, yay! :D

Well, what do we have here?

2010-12-20T00:46:00.003+08:00

STJ tmr! Hope it will turn out well, although I still think my brownies ain't that great, haha. :O Long day tmr so I should be sleeping early but I don't feel like it.

My throat is hurting like crap. I mean its not hurting (it only hurts when I swallow), I just find it difficult to swallow and I'm feeling feverish but twice I took my temperature and twice it was 36.9 degrees. RAWR. D: Shall pop a panadol ltr or sth.

I think my brain is pretty slow too, these few days. D: Something is wrong, I'm degenerating. D: & broke. HAHA. What kind of life is this! But insofar, it's been awesome although I've yet to finish great expectations. See the link with my brain? D:

The Perks of Being a Wallflower sounds like a really cool book. I want to read it! (:

Yes, my life is pretty boring. Other than the fact that I've been shopping for the past 2 days. HMMMM. Actually, I can't wait for our sleepover! (:

2010-12-17T17:24:00.000+08:00

huikin says (5:21 PM):
*eh are u reading the delivery T&C ah
*i dont get it
*Free Delivery for minimum order with Pizza $15, without Pizza $20.
芊妏♡ says (5:22 PM):
*we sure will hit right
huikin says (5:23 PM):
*huh wait i dont get it
*if delivery is free why is it $15
芊妏♡ says (5:23 PM):
*nooo
*if you order with pizza, you must order min $15 bucks to get free delivery!
huikin says (5:24 PM):
*chay
芊妏♡ says (5:24 PM):
*not ordering pizza, min $20
*HAHAHA
huikin says (5:24 PM):
*walau what kind of english

So is it english or hk's comprehension, HAHA.

:O

2010-12-17T09:23:00.002+08:00

Woke up earlier that I wanted to because I had another school-related dream. D:

This time it was worse than the dream I had the night before last night because it was about A level results! :O The night before I dreamt of a lot of schoolmates and and classmates and we were eating at a really big macs that isn't kap. Last night I dreamt that we were getting back our GP results (and only that subject!) and Dr Hon was announcing the names of those who scored C and below for GP to the whole school, starting from the back and I got a D! D: Please do not let it be true, it was so depressing! Our class happened to be sitting at the back so we couldn't really see what he flashed on the screen then later on I went to find him with yinhwee and glen to ask him if I could look at the paper personally. Then he asked me what's my name and he started being mean and joking around with me, stalling time and not letting me see the paper! D: Then in the end, when he let me see the paper I was so depressed cause there was another QW who got C and I was hoping it was me since I couldn't hear what he said clearly before that. At some point in time I even started thinking there goes my UK application because I've always had this impression that they want a C and above for GP! D: But majority of the school wasn't even affected cause they all got a B and above!

WHY DID I HAVE THAT DREAM! D: Pls don't come true!

Other than that, I'm still hoping I won't be dreaming every night I'm sleeping. All I want is a good sleep tyvm!

This is how you define 'eventful'.

2010-12-15T21:35:00.003+08:00

TODAY HAS BEEN UP AND DOWN I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN ON A ROLLERCOASTERRRRR!

Okay, so I started my day going crazy trying to find sth that didn't even exist. I thought I misplaced my Oct SAT report but turned out I didn't even have it. It was really ultimate FML cause I really felt like tearing already, I started losing faith in my ability to keep things cause normally when I misplace sth I still know where to look for it but today was ultimate madness! Halfway through I was hallucinating and imagining it at places it was never at before. I mean, if I've nvr had it, I must have been hallucinating all these while! I couldn't believe I wasted 2 hours doing that! -.-

Then I headed to QR's hse and met with jing so we baked! :D Love the apple pie even though nothing I brought back is presentable now. HAHAHA. But yes, the chocolate molten cake was good but the 2nd batch was overbaked so no more molten, ah dang! But yes, I'm gg to try making the apple pie next time. & qr's kenwood is damn awesome (& ex pls), if I'm rich I'll get one zomggggg. Of course I'll never be rich enough to do that, hahah. FRICTIONAL UNEMPLOYMENT.

So then we headed to some ulu place for the converse warehouse sale and we got a pair each. Yes I love my shoes! :D I think the funniest thing was how we walked 1 round HAHAHA, SHIT I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE WE DID THAT, so we left the place, walked 1 round around the building and went back to the same spot. To make it worse it was drizzling and we were sharing an umbrella cause I was too lazy to open mine and hers was spoiling HAHAH. WTH, WE DAMN AWESOME LAH.

Then we headed to J8 for dinner and I felt like a noob cause cotton on changed so much and I haven't been there for 2 years! Walked around and went to faceshop so I could prove to her that the green nail polish was no longer sold (HAHAH) and then we went home. Halfway through the trip we played unblock me while being brain dead, took damn long to solve 1 puzzle, haha, DAMN FAIL.

Now that Nat is back, I want my hendersons waves date! :D

Okay, nuff said, off to settle apps. D:

留下我在原地哭喊的无奈

2010-12-14T15:54:00.005+08:00

http://www.aidsmap.com/page/1577949/
Read the above, it's really interesting. (:

Life was pretty boring last week except for prom. (My daisy is still alive, I'm starting to think its fake, HAHA) I've been constantly bombarded with apps and scholarship since then, it's never ending. Makes me half wishing that A levels never ended. HAHA. What an idea.

Haven't gotten a job, another trouble. Rawr. Seems like the whole world is employed except me, so now I look like some pig/宅女 who stays at home either playing, house-ing, sleeping, or apping (I really hate this part).

Need to go to school to pick up a couple of stuff too, but since I graduated I shouldn't be required to wear school-related clothes right? HAHA.

But so far, life certainly is still rocking, I can't complain. I mean, look at the people who have to do holiday homework now! And their holiday is ending, HAHA. :B

HUIKINNNNNNNNNN, QUICK WE NEED TO PLAN STJ before the juniors kill us! (& go hendersons waves but nat is nowhere to be found -.-)

Okay, slacking a bit more before I start on my Upenn supp which I've been draggin' for days. T.T

11th

2010-12-11T21:08:00.003+08:00

That day I finally watched Sherlock Holmes and I was so disappointed.
Here's why:

They totally screwed the Adler story! I've always loved the story on Adler because it's really cool, it's the one time Sherlock Holmes was outsmarted (even better, by a woman!) and failed to get back the photograph of the King and Adler.
Adler is not a criminal!!! She's a really smart lady who ended up marrying a guy she loves and they lived happily ever after, with her promising to keep the secret safe.
Robert Downey Jr. isn't a good Sherlock Holmes. He looked stupidly drunk and violent and I didn't like the way his wit was being portrayed. And he didn't say a single "Elementary, my dear Watson". He is so not Sherlock Holmes, I read every single story so I should know the guy in and out!
Jude Law is cute but too irascible to be Dr Watson. Watson is supposed to be absolutely patient and interested in Holmes' workscope (that's how the stories usually start because Watson related them) but he wanted to get out of it in the movie so that he could go propose to the girl he likes. -.-

So I've concluded, if you're as slow as me and haven't caught the movie, watch it only if you haven't read Sherlock Holmes much and only knows he lives at 221B Baker Street. Otherwise, spend your time wisely (even though you have a lot now!).

Okay, shall stop procrastinating and finish what I aimed to! (: My nose is blocked and my ears are kind of blocked, going to get pissed about it soon, >(

Baking date (Y)! Still haven't found the recipe, HAHAHA.

double digit

2010-12-10T18:52:00.004+08:00

Hello QIANWEN, when are you going to get your priorities right?

Rawr, time to pysch myself up.
If I could handle that, I can handle anything.
Actually, seriously, FML. ): Must keep thinking about the future, yesssss.
At season 2 of house now!

又怎会晓得执着的人有隐形翅牓

2010-12-06T16:59:00.002+08:00

"There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is --- in fact --- a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate"

Started watching House last night and I'm kind of hooked. It's really interesting to learn more about the different diseases and their symptoms and it's all fun, no stress kind of learning so it's been awesome. And I think Dr. House is really cool. :D

I'm contemplating changing my blogskin, we all know why the colour theme is this, (this whole blue and red thing) so I figured if I want a new start, this is where I should start. But since I've never been artistically talented (Bs all the way for Art in Pri School except in P3/4 where I had this teacher who believed in purple moons), I haven't got any idea on what do. No drastic change most likely, but I want different colour theme, perhaps something more vibrant? Truth to be told, I still like my previous one a lot but I reckon no one remembers how it looks like already, haha.

Prom tomorrow, not really excited, I think it's just going to be a spammage of photos and girls hoping that no one wears the same dress as them! Hahah, but I guess it'll be fun? (:

This morning I saw this really old couple but they were really sweet. The guy looked a bit blind but he was grasping the hand of the lady and they were holding their hands so tightly, taking small steps because they couldn't walk properly, and he was just leading her. You could feel this protectiveness for her and it was like no one else mattered, they were just in their own world, walking patiently. It was really sweet to see a couple being so close after so many years.

Okay, adios, back to house! :D

你可以不喜欢我，我求你，你不要伤害我的孩子。

2010-12-05T23:05:00.001+08:00

I don't know why I'm spamming all these when no one is probably gg to watch them and no one will come once they know my future posts are all going to be like that but !!! Just cried again from this scene, I'm really v teary, but I think their acting's awesome that's why I can feel the emotions all over again. Honestly, RJT's acting is v good here! (:

Rotting at home tmr, (Y)! :D

加油，陈欣怡！

2010-12-05T16:45:00.000+08:00

One of my favourite scenes. (:

我爱上了纪存希，我希望他永远都不会知道。

2010-12-04T13:30:00.003+08:00

Don't watch this if you intend to watch 命中注定我愛你!

This still makes me tear (last time it was a packet of tissue, HAHA) every single time I watch it, seriously considering rewatching this! (:

& this marks the start of my rotting at home. I think I'll finish my book later and sleep like a pig. Sounds really awesome. (:

Now I'll never know

2010-12-02T23:46:00.002+08:00

It's over. Just like that.

Seems so surreal and everything in the past has been flashing in my mind for the past few days. All the transitions that have occurred so quickly; guess the earth never stops rotating for anyone. After looking at how our seniors' lives have been after As, I've been wondering how I want it to be.

Come today and I realised yet another thing of the past that I can't revisit. For the past 2 years, I think the realisation that when I let loose of the routines I can't get them back hit me the hardest. & precisely because of this, flashbacks just keep happening time and time again when I see something. It makes me just stone and stare for awhile. I guess that's why memories are the scariest, sometimes they just make you hold on to the past so dearly, you can't move on.

But this is the next stage of my life. And it can only get bigger and better.

I find it ironic that before As all I was wishing for was some time to rest but now I find resting a waste of time? It's like there's so many things to do, I've got to be doing something everyday. It's tiring but I never fail to procrastinate my sleeping hours.

But for now, I just want to go to some grass patch, lie down and watch the clouds move. & perhaps do all the things I've been doing before studying took over my life.

Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

It's like I'm looking from a distance, standing in the background

2010-12-01T23:50:00.001+08:00

Going to bed so that I'll be ready for the last battle. Can't believe it, but it's really going to be overrrrr! (:

Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?

2010-11-28T20:14:00.005+08:00

So far life has been pretty good?

Not really relaxing because my to-do list never ends but still everyday is a day full of (:! Guess when you have a reason to smile, life is always good. :D Got my dress, finally, so I don't have to worry about it anymore, heh. Plus, I've started planning for after As events, it's exciting, I want to find a job and earn $$$! so that I can fufill my wishlist and be carefree. Steady steps now because personal statements are going to make me really grumpy but I believe it will all be worth it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2RA0vsZXf8
This is really good! (:

It's so nice to wake up in the morning knowing you don't have to read your notes! Till wednesday comes of course, haha.

Okay, time to get ready to start on my PS. JIAYOU ME! :D

P/S: I want to go to hendersons waves eh, anyone wants to go with me? :D

Afterh3:179

2010-11-25T07:53:00.003+08:00

Pseudo freedom here I come! -shouts and runs to nowhere-

I know the title is really surprising; I don't usually talk about my papers after they're done cause like what I've always told others, it's over and you can do nothing about it, so just stop thinking! Well, I've definitely stop thinking, (okay so I went through the whole process of wondering how I really did for my paper yesterday and despite the sighs I gave yesterday I've decided it should be okay?) but I think my subconscious didn't.

Finally a night where I can sleep without thinking about any papers but I had to have a dream. Which is really funny, because that day we were still talking about our dreams and how yh, wq, jw and jq all dreamt about exams-related stuff like how they didn't finish their papers or how they missed out some questions when they thought they completed the papers and the like and I was happily telling them I've never dreamt about my papers before and couldn't understand how it feels like. Well, now I do.

Last night, I dreamt about myself sitting for my h3 paper and how I couldn't finish it. It was the exact some part of qns 2, I couldn't elucidate out the structure and I was wondering what to do. Then when time was up, I had to write my centre code and all that but I was actually cheating?! I pretended to write my codes while filling in more answers (which by the way is a wonder, because in reality I had no answers!) while jw (hello, new h3 classmate, HAHA) who was sitting on my left (hmmm, I guessed you replaced derrick huh) threw an eraser over cause she saw me cheating and wanted to stop me. But I just daoed and continue but really funny thing is, I wrote one of the answers as "vjc". Can someone please explain to me how "vjc" can give an extra 1 mark or so? HAHAHAH. I've figured it's probably because I didn't attempt or read the answer sheet of the vjc prelims before the exams and my subconcious is telling me that perhaps if I've done that I would be able to do the papers? HAHAHA, I find that ridiculous, heh. :B

So there, I ended my h3 journey yesterday and I guess it's a little disappointing knowing that at the end of the day, I still couldn't elucidate a simple structure? The stupid mass spectrometry, I could only figure out what's m/e 43 and that's it. I'm over it but I guess it's saddening to know this is how it ended.

Got to go! :D

At this rate...

2010-11-24T10:50:00.002+08:00

HOW CAN I NOT GET MY DISTINCTION?!?

I swear today/ytd felt like my bday cause I had so many people (love you guys! :D) wishing my good luck, jiayou and all that stuff, I feel so loved! :D THANKS EVERYONE! (:

Now, I'm hoping the paper will be manageable because:
1. I fear that if its too easy, I will lose out since my brain cannot fit every single thing I need to memorise.!
2. If it's too difficult... (WHAT ELSE HUH.)
3. It cannot spoilt my mood for HP later! :D I cannot wait to meet up with the rest to catch tom felton in action! Hahhas.

& just for fun, here are the principles of gel electrophoresis (pls come out ltr?), because I can't even blog in peace without thinking about H3:
1. Components in the sample mixture have an electric charge according to the pH of the environment.
2. Molecules will move in the gel support in the presence of an electric field according to their electric field. Negatively charged molecules will move towards the anode while positively charged molecules will move towards the cathode.
3. The rate of migration of the molecules is constant when the forces of attraction between the electrode and the oppositely charge ions is equal to the frictional force of the gel medium resisting the species present.
4. Movement of the molecules is affected by the voltage, size, shape, buffer pH and temperature.

I also cannot believe my eyes over the news on NK-SK and the stampede is ridiculous! >(

JIAYOU ME, less than 6hrs to go! :D

ECONS IS SCREWING MY BRAIN.

2010-11-23T09:51:00.003+08:00

The title says it all.
I cannot wait for 415pm to come. At least I derive more joy from studying H3!!! >(
Aja fight fight fight towards A!!!

阮经天拿到金马奖！

2010-11-21T12:20:00.002+08:00

"Taiwanese actor Ethan Juan yesterday won the Best Leading Actor award for his outstanding performance in the Taiwanese film “Monga” at the 47th Golden Horse Awards for Chinese-language films held at the Taoyuan County Performing Arts Center. "

http://www.chinapost.com.tw/taiwan/arts-&-leisure/2010/11/21/280789/Ethan-Juan.htm

:D

更需要一个人来点亮天的黑

2010-11-20T00:13:00.004+08:00

5 more papers to go, so far I'm surviving...
but I don't know how long I can last! ):

It's going to be a terror like the first week, spammage of papers, especially those that I fear, econs and H3. I hope they will be kind and make the papers manageable, I don't know how long I can tell myself to remain steady for the rest of the fight. Each time I'm out of the examination hall I heave an extreme sigh of relief. No matter how well I did or didn't do, I was just glad it's over there and then. Then I just shut myself out amidst the incessant chatters and discussions and secretly hope it will all stop soon.

I'm just so tired, it's not funny anymore. It's getting tougher to smile each day and I can't wait for this to be over!!! Just 12 more days, I need to HANG. IN. THERE. Except the rope is stretching pretty thin and pretty soon I think I'll fall into the pit. Languid shrouds me daily and I just can't shake it off. And guess what, despite the numerous encouragements I'm giving out, they don't work the same way for me. -.-

On a side note, studying comes with surprises. It's amazing how friends can be made (I swear!) and Bruce, I know you won't see this but I think you're really funny lah! (: Anything to make me laugh my weariness away!

PFFT, I'm in a -I just want to scream but I know even screaming won't help- kind of state and there's this bad energy in me that I want to remove. I seem to be just waiting for a nuclear bomb to explode. Tick tick tick.

):
HELLO PIG. HAHAHA.
是否因为发现未来的空虚，所以不愿放下过去的美丽。

Optimism on another level

2010-11-13T08:55:00.001+08:00

Read this: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/EDC101113-0000047/An-island-of-optimists

:)

It's too soon to see if I'm happy in your hands

2010-11-13T07:58:00.003+08:00

6 papers down, 7 more to go!

So far it's been okay, couple of mistakes made here and there but I think I'll be just fine. Now that there are 2 subjects down, it's good to know that I only need to focus on 4 others only. Yet, I'm scared because econs is such a volatile subject and I'm not sure if I have time for H3! :/

Just 19 more days everyone! (QR, I love your countdown timer, hahah)

Spent my ytd slacking away in school, I was utterly drained, physically and mentally, and I couldn't bring myself to study. I've come to realise the irony when A levels end: I wouldn't know what to do cause there's so much time for so many things, I don't even know where to start! & more worries still, because there's a prom dress to find, 2 subject tests to study, personal statements to write and scholarships to go for. It's a never-ending cycle even when I leave HC; I need to push myself past this barrier set in front for now.

4 more As to bag, go me!

Babe, I'll walk the seven seas
When I believe that there's a reason
To write you a love song today, today

Rolling

2010-11-07T20:24:00.005+08:00

Less than 48 hours before the start of the end (quotes preston) begins. I'm feeling really weird out right now. How is it possible that despite this being the most important exams ever since I stepped into NY, I feel like I haven't done enough for it. I've always expected myself to feel ready by As, but the truth is, I'm not and I guess I'll never be? There is this constant mix of emotions; one moment I tell myself I can do it because HC papers are always tougher than A levels, another moment I tell myself you nvr know what may happen.

Nonetheless, spending my time studying in school has been really awesome. I love the feeling I get when I see different people studying so hard every single day, and while doing so, I'm interacting with people I've nvr talked to and getting to know new people everyday. This feeling is really great, and I don't mind the opp cost of losing a few hours of studying just to socialise. :D

Then again, my subconscious is whacking my head everyday because I know I'm not doing enough, others have done more practices than me (way more omg) but I'm still here trying to get my brain to absorb like a sponge. It's frustrating to keep telling myself that I'll do just fine in the end.

Then the cycle starts all over again, because I'm on FB, tumblr, bloghoppin' every night. I suck, and I know it! :/

But let's not dwell on what has passed; only 1 more day to get myself ready for the battle, I NEED TO FEEL READY!!! COME ON QIANWEN YOU CAN ACE THIS, 8As GOGOGO! AJA FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!

JIAYOU EVERYONE! Let's go grab our As! (:

3.

2010-11-06T00:01:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NELSON~! :D

4.

2010-11-05T07:46:00.001+08:00

PANICK!!!!!!!!!! :(

6.

2010-11-02T22:31:00.004+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JK-oDijqlI0&feature=player_embedded

Just realised the mv v funny, hahahs.

有多少人在旁边
我们都视而不见
彼此却忍不住地看几眼
感觉强烈
一句微笑的方便
已经暗示到极限
没勇气的人犹豫的瞬间
幸福就飘过面前
我平凡无奇
而你像灿烂星星
让我担心
明明很爱你
明明想靠近
但是你的身边有人捧花总是拥挤
我凭什么一一打败情敌
敢大声说要做你(我)的唯一
明明很爱你
明明想靠近
为什么还要再浪费时间不把你(我)抱紧
攻真心才是最厉害的武器
我会拼命让你更满意
讲配不配太俗气
说爱不爱要问起
爱由我们自己决定
不必理跌破谁的眼镜

加油，陈芊妏！

7!

2010-11-01T22:35:00.001+08:00

I CAN DO THIS.

Oh, look what you've done

2010-10-31T10:40:00.003+08:00

Only 9 more days (no longer a double digit!) and this is the state I am in. Sometimes I wonder if I've ever gotten my priorities right, I forgo sleep just to talk with the people I love and then I wake up in the morning feeling like shit. Then I think again and I know given a chance, I would have done it all over again. Falling sick, I can feel it, this is damn shit because I have no time and energy to fall sick. & no matter what others think or say, I'm not doing enough.

How does it all end up being okay? How do I jump and land safe?

Whatever it is, there's no time for me to ponder over useless things, I need to get up and go. The marathon has yet to start.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN everyone!

你不知道的事

2010-10-27T23:02:00.002+08:00

蝴蝶眨几次眼睛才学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星但几颗会落地
我飞行但你坠落之际
很靠近还听见呼吸
对不起我却没捉紧你
你不知道我为什么离开你
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像倾盆大雨
碎了满地在心里清晰
你不知道我为什么狠下心
盘旋在你看不见的高空里
多的是你不知道的事

如果每个人的心里都藏着一个暴风雨，那人们是否都应该孤独、自闭。
因为放在一起的我们，或许会把整个宇宙吞没，杀个片甲不留。
能确定的是，逃避不在选择之中。
再怎么坚持，努力，还是无法看见化学反应。

95 minutes

2010-10-24T18:20:00.003+08:00

I woke up and it feels like something's changed.

Okay sian this is stupid I was supposed to nap for half an hour only (LIKE YOU KNOW, POWER NAP) but in the end it stretched to 95 minutes BECAUSE...

I had a dream.
Guess what I was doing. HAHAHAH.

-.- Having bio remedial with the remedial people, I CANNOT BELIEVE I DREAMT OF MR POH.! It was damn weird, we were having remedial but all dressed nicely as if we were going for prom HAHAH. Can't rmb what Mr Poh said though! & we weren't in a classroom, we were outdoors where there were tables, it was dark, little stars in the sky and no candles at all so how did we have remedial? HMMM.

See, this is what happens when you do bio before you nap. HAHAH. Or did it come from all that crashing of bio remedials? ;)

还有很久的那一天我也要有你陪

2010-10-23T23:22:00.003+08:00

16? 15? 14?

I'm losing count on the number of days left till A levels but I can safely tell you there's 39 more days to the end. (: I'm still feeling very surreal, it's like a do or die matter but while the hours creep away, I'm still at the same spot, trying to accomplish the impossible in vain. Need.to.get.my.act.together.! I guess the only good thing that came out was the fact that I'm even closer to classmates that I've never been close to before. Many of them, cause now we're studying together. I love this feeling. How everyone is working quietly towards the same goal, and how no matter what happens I know I have people around me to help me when I get frustrated over my work. (: I LOVE YOU ALL MY MUGGIN' MATES! :D

Graduated on thursday!

Love you guys a lot a lot, will miss you all! :(

偶尔很清醒偶尔去抗拒

2010-10-18T23:23:00.002+08:00

I need to face my fears, stupid they may seem, but it's a hurdle that I've been trying to cross for days, in vain. What entails success? Do I gain it simply from failing a thousand times? Or from the never ending perserverance? I think it's the latter; for I've lost it, so everything went down the drain.

Whatever it is, time is something I'm racing with and it's do or die. I choose the former.

So let me be and I'll set you free

2010-10-15T08:20:00.002+08:00

I hated that moment when others were waiting for us to be compared. They failed to see that we were both unique and different individuals with no basis for comparison.

make sure i guarded my heart

2010-10-13T22:34:00.001+08:00

Am I fish? Why do I take whatever you're dangling in front of me?

If perfect is what you're searching for then just stay the same

2010-10-12T22:49:00.006+08:00

I've been going home late for the past few days of school and it's been really draining on me, :( However, I'm really glad that SAT is over (good scores pls!) and I can finally focus on studying on A levels.

Who am I kiddin', I'm not doing well in that area either. Time is really speeding by, I swear. I can spend ages working on a single piece of work and I have so much too do, so little time but I just can't seem to increase my pace. It's really terrible, and I know its not due to distractions from people around me. It's really about myself and how I study. Somehow, it's not working. :( There's no balance, between the amount of effort and time I'm putting in and the amount I'm accomplishing. Damn shitz. :(

I'm sleepy every single day because I sleep 5 hrs or less each day and my brain just can't function as well. It's a torturous cycle but I can't help it. I'm stuck in this routine until everything is over. For now, I'm just really glad that I have friends studying with me and in the midst of intense muggin', there are still laughters to be hear and smiles to be seen. :)

& I'm reading nineteen minutes now, although it's just when I'm on the bus to and fro home but still, it's a pleasure to read a good book (so far, it's been really exciting!) and it's one way for me to relax. I guess if I think about it, I'm still good to go!

09S7G YOU GUYS ARE DAMN ZAI! (for bio, haha) :D
Yay, I love you guys! :)

Falls right into place

2010-10-10T22:34:00.003+08:00

jiawen says:
lol
hey where can you see ypurself in 10 years?
芊妏♡ says:
i'll be 28, im expecting to have an awesome bf by then but i'll be still working
jiawen says:
A MIRROR. HHAHAHAH LOL
芊妏♡ says:
-.-
jiawen says:
HAHAHAHAHAHHAH
lol
芊妏♡ says:
WTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

So I decided to do it on QR...

芊妏♡ says:
hey, where can you see yourself in 10 years?
` RΛWRRΛWR! [RDC] [c=30]qr[/c] ): says:
so random!!
芊妏♡ says:
just answer!!
` RΛWRRΛWR! [RDC] [c=30]qr[/c] ): says:
err working.. going to be married?
芊妏♡ says:
hahahs, IN A MIRRORR!
` RΛWRRΛWR! [RDC] [c=30]qr[/c] ): says:
err working.. going to be married?
lolol
-.-
cheato
maybe nxt time no mirrors Liao!!!

I think I failed, but qr said it was funny, LOL.

30 MORE DAYS, GO QIANWEN!

Dear Angela,

2010-10-10T13:22:00.003+08:00

Can you please come up with a new album? I'm missin' you. :(

你是第一个发现我
越面无表情越是心里难过
所以当我不肯落泪地颤抖
你会心疼的抱我在胸口

你比谁都还了解我
内心的渴望比表面来得多
所以当我跌断翅膀的时候
你不扶我但陪我学忍痛

我要去看得最远的地方
和你手舞足蹈聊梦想
像从来没有失过望受过伤
还相信敢飞就有天空那样

我要在看得最远的地方
披第一道曙光在肩膀
被泼过太冷的雨滴和雪花
更坚持微笑要暖得像太阳

你比谁都还了解我
内心的渴望比表面来得多
所以当我跌断翅膀的时候
你不扶我但陪我学忍痛

我要去看得最远的地方
和你手舞足蹈聊梦想
像从来没有失过望受过伤
还相信敢飞就有天空那样

我要在看得最远的地方
披第一道曙光在肩膀
被泼过太冷的雨滴和雪花
更坚持微笑要暖得像太阳

有时候觉得我们很不一样
你能看见我看不到的地方
有时候又觉得我们很像
都爱仰起头不听命运的话

我要去看得最远的地方
和你手舞足蹈聊梦想
像从来没有失过望受过伤
还相信敢飞就有天空那样

我要在看得最远的地方
披第一道曙光在肩膀
被泼过太冷的雨滴和雪花
更坚持微笑要暖的像太阳

就像是精灵住错了森林，那爱情错的很透明

2010-10-10T00:39:00.002+08:00

I say a lot but at the end of the day, I'm still the one without courage.

Give me hope

2010-10-06T22:17:00.004+08:00

Today's an ex-bestie bday (or shall I contd to call her a bestie although we no longer talk? D:) and well, I just miss her and the times we used to spend together. It's quite sad to lose contact with people that you were once so close to but I've come to realise that at the end of the day, I just want her to happy. & I'm happy to see her living her life so happily. :)

There's this really sweet lady who sells yong tau foo at JE. I've been going to her stall quite a bit and she's always so nice to me. She'll happily add more stuff for me even though I don't need them at all but she does it all the same. There was once when I ordered guo tiao and she ran out of it so I just took the yellow noodles but she added beansprouts for me with no extra charges. Then today, when I ordered again, she asked me if I would like anything else and although I kindly refused them, she added beansprouts for me again. I love how she's always very focused on her work and always treat her customers courteously. It's really awesome to meet nice strangers. :)

I know it's weird but I'm still not in the right state for A levels. While others are muggin' their asses off and strugglin' with the lack of sleep, I'm still wandering about like a lost soul who's trying to find something, something intangible, something I seem to have lost in the past. My heart is yearning for it, but the soul is utterly useless in its futile search. Now if only I can put a name to it.

Perhaps it's the series of unfortunate events that had happened. Suddenly I'm another person, someone I've pretty much been wishing to become, but now that I'm it, I'm at a lost. It feels like a new identity and suddenly I'm nameless. There is nothing to me and no connections linked at all. It's as if I'm in a bubble and I'm walking slowly and firmly, waiting for something to happen but still, nothing is happening.

Okay, ignore that, I think I'm just weird.

More importantly, I want to thank my friends for being there for me these few days. I needed it and well, you know who you are. I really appreciate the company and the spontaneous sessions of counselling when I needed them desperately. You guys just know how to steer me to the right direction and to focus on the right thing. Thanks for asking and well, you know where to find me when you need me! :) I just hope there will be no more (I repeat, no more!) unexpected surprises. Sometimes they tend to kill.

大家，我们一起加油吧！:)

P/S: I'm giving free hugs; ask me if you need one! :)

So I'll let my walls come down

2010-10-03T23:11:00.003+08:00

Everything starts tomorrow. :) I'm going to study proper and spend every precious second doing something important (not just studying), instead of wasting them away like what I've been doing the past week. It's time to get my act together and work really hard for the next 5 weeks so that I can embrace my freedom (true freedom!) with peace and happiness.

I guess it's really hard to balance life now. Somehow no matter how hard we try, something must go, if we study we can't exercise (I can't, serious); if we tumblr we can't study (HAHAH), but at the end of the day its worth it, aint it? To catch up shows after seasons after seasons have alrdy been out, to enjoy picnics and kites in your dreams, to miss out on the next sale(aww!), to have a list of must-reads only to be reading books not on the list and well, it goes on...

Surprisingly I am not stressful. Maybe I'll start panicking tmr when I see fellow mates having studied more than me, but I've always been an own pace, own race kind of person so I guess I'm not affected. Although I do need people to keep me on track at times; I tend to deviate and when I start, I can't stop! So friends (who are studying with me!), please give me timely reminders!

Actually I find it very exciting now, I'm really high, I don't if its cause of Teenage Dream or what, but isn't it exciting? This very path we're going down is going to lead us to freedom and bliss and although some may wish for more time before A's come, I choose to make full use of my time and enjoy the process. I guess I'm just surprise to admit that I'm really happy now.! Is that a crime? Or am I nerd because I'm embracing my books? HAHAH, IDK. I've been feeling really relaxed (like As is over, I wish!) and I haven't felt like this for very long. Perhaps its an evanescence and the bubble will burst when I see my results but for now, I'm really enjoying every moment.

Not to forget, Mrs Lee KY will be dearly missed. It's really saddening to see a loving couple apart but we all know their love stays and lives in their hearts forever.

Just realised why I don't feel like studyin', stress is what drives me, and since I'm feeling carefree now, what stress is there?

More babyblues because they help me stay alive; I know someone out there needs them too! :)

Good night and good bye! :)

Stay happy everyone! :)

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY

2010-10-01T20:58:00.003+08:00

"Everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life, and a secret life."
- Gabriel García Márquez

Something related to what we talked about last night.

So far I'm just feeling infuriating over SAT because despite doing so much practices (perhaps I haven't done enough?), I'm still scoring below 2200 and I'm feeling exasperated because all I need is to have fewer mistakes, mistakes that I know can be turned to good points and a good score. :( Nonetheless, I'm not giving up, I'm dogged, indefatigable, and won't give up till the end! To be honest, (you can consider me mad) but I've come to think that SAT is actually quite fun to study? Perhaps its because there is nothing related to As that I want to study now. I'm still stumped by those who can pick up their books just couple of days after prelims. I know I'm slow (like hello, it's a week after the last paper!!!) but nothing, and honestly, nothing, can make me crack those books. Not until my grades come back, which will be too late by then.

Forgive me if I sound weird, I'm singing and listening to my ex-fav songs now so I can't really concentrate on bloggin', heh. I blame nelson for this, cause I never knew he listened to chinese songs (pray forgive me for having those thoughts but you really look like you don't listen to chinese songs at all!) and now I'm hooked onto emo chinese songs again.! O.O

& I was hummin' that stupid song this morning in front of lorraine but yeah, I couldn't tell her what song it was (obviously~) while she was tryin' her best to figure it out.

O.O Just realised we're getting a lot of papers back next week, including H3! AHHHHHHHHHH!

everyone is using 'egregious'

2010-09-30T23:31:00.003+08:00

Went online to bloghop and I realised most have been influenced by Dr Wilks and in an attempt to improve their vocabulary, they've all used 'egregious' in their posts. o.O

I've been spending my past few days in a 'slackish, attempting to study but failing to do so' mood. It's been fun I guess, because it's a really casual kind of study, and I'm still not feeling a lot of pressure yet, the emphasis being yet, because I know as time passes I'll come to panick for A levels. & what nelson and xinyu reminded me today... yada yada, HAHAHA. 开心就好! okay! :D

I only completed my H3 hw today, hahas, didn't even touch SAT because after dinner me, nel and xy headed to island creamery and we stayed there for 2 hours just chatting. It was awesome time spent, loved every moment, and I want to do it again! The whole just talk crap and relax. :)Perhaps that is what we should be doing: Mug hard in the day and talk our whole night away! :D

HELLO SIAHXINYU YOU REACH HOME YET? :D

Baby Blues is the love!

2010-09-28T23:40:00.004+08:00

ZOOM

2010-09-26T22:18:00.003+08:00

The past few days have been awesome; it's truly work hard, play hard(er). :)

Spent my friday with classmates in town and we shopped and tried loads of stuff, awesomely fun and I think it was the highest turnout rate ever? :) 7G is the best! Of course, we then spend our night on isketch till 1am; an absolutely intense and hilarious session as we attempt to decipher each other's drawing and totally ROFLMAO at the some of the words we had to sketch. Damn fun omg, there's an isketch craze now cause we ended up playing it again last night! Saturday was relaxing, went out again but this time round we went travelling to different places and it was like an adventure of some sort. P/S: WQ, I still think your bag is damn chio! :)

Today has been relaxing, I've been watching season 2 of pushing daisies and I'm going to catch the last episode later! Chuck and ned are so sweet and cute together! :) Randy and Olive too! It's actually a very therapeutic show because it shows me really really nice people who always look out for others. Oh yes, I went for a massage today! Damn shiok omg. (NAT DO YOU SEE THIS, LOLS) Hahahas, cause I kept telling nat I'll go for one after prelims, heh. :) It was damn awesome and although its aching slightly now, I still feel v comfortable. I hope tonight I'll finally have a good night sleep. During the prelims period, I had difficulty sleeping with my aching neck and shoulders and it was terrible trying to ignore them or attempting to massage myself. Obviously, I ended with insomnia. -.- & boy does a girl need a good night sleep.!

So tmr it's back to school again and well, full fletch muggin' again?! :( No wonder people burnout, imagine reading the same thing every single week! -.- That's so lame but yet we have to repeat this routine over and over again. I cannot wait for As to be over (66 more days!!!) and screw we're getting back papers tmr, I hope I don't disappoint Mrs Quek this time.!!!

Okay, now to a more exciting topic: F1! :) I've been catching F1 for the past three years and I think this year's the most awesome cause I was rooting for the red bulls (Vettel and webber!) before the game started and they got 2nd and 3rd respectively! Heck Alonso, I think the best scene was when webber cut hamilton (I will attempt to find a video on it and post it up!) and caused hamilton to get out of the race, heeheeheee, I think hamilton is overrated. And tonight's top 5 starting positions was alrdy v exciting since they are all pros but the competition really started after two cars crashed and the safety car came out. Kudos to Massa too, because he went from the 24th position to being one of the top 10. :) I don't know what button was doing, nothing exciting happened to him.

Toodles, off to complete my pushing daisies! :)