Life is a maze and love is a riddle♥

Not my week! ):
{Tuesday, March 29, 2011}

OHMYGOODNESS.
Okay I will not panick.
I will breathe in and out.
I will stick to my schedule.
I will stay calm.
I will survive.

Let me just list things out so I can stay focus:

Tuesday (aka today): - Get ready for tmr's interview!
- Start on NUS Scholarship essay (damn that exceptional achievement!)

Wednesday: - Score my MOH interview even though there's 7 interviewers!

Thursday: - Complete my essay by then. I WILL COME OUT WITH SOME EXCEPTIONAL ACHIEVEMENT. OH GOSH.

Friday: -A*Star MMPI TEST. PLEASE.DO.NOT.ASK.ME.ACADEMIC.RELATED.QNSES. JUST TEST MY PERSONALITY/CHARACTER. PLEASE.

Oh gosh, Idk if I should hope for this week to pass soon or pray that time passes by slowly so I can relax. I NEED TO RELAX.

6:38 PM

Exceptional
{Monday, March 28, 2011}

ex·cep·tion·al /ɪkˈsɛpʃənl/
[ik-sep-shuh-nl]

–adjective
1. forming an exception or rare instance; unusual; extraordinary: The warm weather was exceptional for January.
2. unusually excellent; superior: an exceptional violinist.
3. Education . (of a child)
a. being intellectually gifted.
b. being physically or especially mentally handicapped to an extent that special schooling is required.

Dear NUS, going by this definition, I have no such achievement that you require for the essay. Please tell me what all the normal students like me should do. Thanks.

10:13 PM

最后还是回到了原点
{Saturday, March 26, 2011}

Haven't been coming here recently, pretty much because I'm either #1: Having a mundane life or #2: Too tired from having fun that I can't be bothered to post much. I think both are not mutally exclusive. Having had so many things happening, I'll probably just talk about them briefly.

#1: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO ME&WQ! :D Thanks awesome buds for celebrating our birthday and jonl I love my poifull! :D Heh heh, next time it will be me buying poifull to share okay, cause I always kope yours LOLS.

I HAVE AWESOME FRIENDS. :D

HONESTLY, ANY GIRL'S WISH!

#2: I went for a facial with my sister, mum and aunt last saturday and the person was horrible in dealing with my blackheads! ): OUCH, honestly, although I just bear the pain with no complaints, secretly cursing and swearing inside, HAHA.

#3: I finally applied for NUS and NTU! But not done yet cause there's still uni scholarships to apply for. Should I go for USP?

#4: All my 5 offers are finally here so I guess its really decision making time soon. Not showing off, but I must point our Warwick's stupidity,

"Dear Miss Tan

Following receipt of your recent examination results the University of Warwick has amended our offer from Conditional to Unconditional for a place to study on the F125 Chemistry with Medicinal Chemistry MChem degree."

-.- Sorry, but what's the difference?

#5: And if you think I'm really smart, I just got rejected by UC Berkeley! HAHAHA, ohh the way they phrased their rejection letter. LMAO.

"The Admissions decisions were very difficult this year, as competition for fall admission was exceptionally rigorous. Berkeley was able to admit less than a quarter of the 53,000-plus applicants, all of whom were very well qualified. I regret that many very talented and promising students will not be included in the freshman class as a result of this high level of selectivity."

So now I'm actually wondering if UPenn and Columbia will accept me, even though I'm not planning to go US anymore. Hmmm.

#6: MOH Interview next wednesday! :O JY scared me by telling me that there's 10 interviewers (I MEAN, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!). JQ, PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS NOT TRUE. D:

#7: I'm starting to understand the whole -you need to cut your hair every month- dilemma for short hair people. It's been a month and yes, I'm going to cut it already.

8:45 AM

我和你手牵手说要一起走到最后
{Monday, March 14, 2011}

Just some updates about my life!

2 days of weekends were spent at ntu and nus respectively and tbh, I find the talks rather boring and useless but truth is, sometimes no matter how many people you talk to, they can never help you to make that final decision. Of course my path is pretty clear cut, I'm just waiting for that scholarship to give me wings and bring me to UK. Of course part of me is actually hoping that well, I don't get anything and end up in Singapore (everyone please touch wood) but having gone to the two open houses, I can firmly say my heart belongs to another land. NTU probably has nothing much to offer me while NUS has a pharmacy course where the professor insist I won't have time to take up a minor. Boohoohoo. -.-

This week's work is different because I'm taking over Jessica so I'm really on my own and I can't afford to make any mistakes! D: But first day so far has been pretty good, I get to do things on my own pace (as they say, slow and steady wins the race!) and my colleagues pretty much let me take my own sweet time while helping me as and when I ask for it. But my half-days on tuesday and thursday have to be earned, because I can't leave till I finish my work. D: So I hope I can finish it tmr and on thursday! (Yay, I get to see you tmr. :D)

Pretty much enjoying life now because this week is a special week (to quote wq) for me and well, I'm starting to feel old. Saw kids playing at the playground and doing all the dangerous stuns that I used to do when I was young and I just felt like I'll never be doing them again! Childhood is something I still miss very much now and then.

Turning 19 in a few days, this I can actually wait.

9:16 PM

Maximum of 3800 characters with space.
{Thursday, March 10, 2011}

PSC Essay! :( But I'm definitely starting today, yes go me!

This has been on my mind for quite a while. Every wednesday when I assist Dr Michael Wong, I would start thinking about my lifestyle and how terrible it is. I work from 830 to 530 from monday to friday so I don't even have time to go for a run or something after work because it takes ages for me to go home and by then, I would have been too exhausted from work. Then I spend my saturday and sunday mornings teaching tuition (actually, flexible hours) and somehow my afternoons will be gone with me doing IDK what, not forgetting the nights. So it really hits me when Dr Wong tells the patients to watch what they eat (they're mostly diabetic!) and exercise frequently. Also, the brochures and magazines at HFL with statements that goes: exercise for 30 minutes daily just glare at me all the time. I mean, honestly are you serious?

Okay, who am I kidding, I'm just lazy to go for a run. So it really is amazing when I hear Jessica telling that she used to run 6 times a week, honestly, that takes a hell lot of discipline, something I'm losing while in the process of change. And you know, I'm not even wanting to do this because I want to lose weight or something (although I have to admit, I could afford to lose a few pounds), but I really don't want to be the person consulting Dr Wong 20 years down the road. It will be really saddening to know I have to control my diet, that a few biscuits can actually shoot my blood glucose level way up high or when I skip meals I become hypoglycermia. Or when I have to eat 4 pills in the morning and 4 pills at night. Or take insulin shots. Or that my wounds isnt healing fast enough because I'm diabetic. Or I have to take B12 jabs every now and then. Honestly, (just like what my gp essay is all about), I'm all for medicine because as Paracelsus once said, "the dose makes the poison" and I do believe in vaccines and all but even drugs have their limitations. So while I'm still panicky about my scholarship applications, it's really time I start putting my health on a higher priority level.

So far the only running I'm doing is away from all the scholarship applications. Guess its time to run towards them huh.

Somehow I feel like making a flow chart about my nxt decision. Like scholarship: yes/no, then course then school etc etc. I now know less of what I want than before, oh the irony.

On a happier note, I no longer need to expect another email full of questions from Dr Dewi. (:
You know, it feels like I applied overseas universities just to see if I can actually get into them. So when the offers come, it feels like the journey has somehow ended. When they should be the start.

8:29 PM

Busy bee
{Wednesday, March 09, 2011}

Went into brightsparks and realised there's actually a whole lot of scholarships I can try for so now I'm busy trying to update my details and still thinking about the psc essay I have to write. (Someone explain why MOH can't have a separate application?) What makes it worse is that most application closes on 15 March and I absolutely do not have time to sit and research through, going out tmr and 2 open houses on my weekends, I am tight for time. :O And can someone please tell me why HSA doesn't provide a scholarship? :(

On another note, I'm turning 19 soon! (:
Yinhwee, I'm highly addicted to BBT! :O

P/S: If there is an "About yourself" column that is optional, will you fill it up?

8:55 PM

Now what?
{Sunday, March 06, 2011}

I know I've got it all planned. I've always been the kind - I make lengthy to-do lists, plan before the week comes, know what I want to do and how I'm going to achieve it etc but sometimes I wish I was a little more laidback, relaxed. Of course, I've become better than before, I'm no longer that anxious little girl who freaks out when things do not go the way they are expected to, but at the same time, it's not enough. So while others are fumbling over their options after they got their results, I am in a state which is otherwise deemed abnormal.

How can anyone be so certain of what they want? Do they never fear that it may actually be phase, that 10 years down the road, I may feel that I wasted 4-5 years of my life studying for sth I may not like in the end? How do I know I actually like what I like now? With my grades, I've got hundreds of doors opening for me, and they sure are tempting. It's like walking down this corridor towards the very door you wanted all along, but along the way, the doors at the side open, and you take a peek, and you realise, hey, this may actually be fun. Then suddenly, you wish you can enter and leave any door any time you like.

What if what I am about to give up for the future does not commensurate to what I will gain in the future? There's this sense of helplessness, of never knowing what's going to happen. Perhaps its age, perhaps its not, perhaps its all part of growing up, but I think, I'm starting to lose that v part of me who would have plunged into anything anytime in the past without thinking about the consequences or what's ahead.

All my life I've been good but now, woah, I'm thinking what the hell
All I want is to mess around and I don't really care about

You know how one should always celebrate upon getting good results? I'm like, what is there to celebrate? I don't even know if where I'm heading to is right, because at the end of the day, happiness outweighs anything and everything. But with everything being so intangible, there is no one measuring machine invented just to weight these.

1:44 PM