Life is a maze and love is a riddle♥

{Thursday, January 31, 2008}

I'm starting to feel loved all again.

I'm not saying I wasn't, just that it was lacking a X factor that I couldn't understand what. Maybe happiness is really gain by the way you view things. Maybe being less petty, cracking more weirdo jokes and just being myself is the way to be happy. Maybe helping others to see them happy makes you happy too. I don't know. All I know is, friends are always around me and I realised it was up to me to treasure them to gain that happiness or to forsake them for pesky lil stuff. Not worth it, obviously.

Suddenly, I feel a little lightened up, like the way I was years ago. Yes, I've lost my happiness over my years of growing up. I once thought that was because I lost the true definition of happiness, only to realise now that I only lost my own definition of happiness. Many people are happy for many different things. One lolly may mean the world to a kid while it might be suicidal for a fat woman. It's the way the things in the world are being used to create that happiness and I realised that maybe that very thing that make others happy brings me sorrow. I just needed to know what can really make me happy all these while.

Maybe it's all these projection of my ideas and thoughts in class. Maybe that was the key. Maybe that was why I wasn't happy before, because I lost my ability to be frank, because I kept everything to myself, because I stutter when I try to suppress those thoughts. & maybe it was because of an incident that make me feel the need to suppress them. Maybe, just maybe.

I had to be strong. I had always been strong. & therefore without you, I had to show others that I was still strong, no matter how much I was hurting inside, trying to be the superwoman everyone thought they knew. Growing up is great, cause after all those falls, I've learnt to stand up straight without a slight hesistation. & I think I've fallen in love with that feeling, that feeling that made every single challenge less challenging.

All I want to say is, I've grown up and I'm proud that I have.

Not to forget, what I promised.

When the sun shine,
we shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
.
.
.
So go on and let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more

Try deciphering the hidden meaning.

8:59 PM

{Friday, January 25, 2008}

SQUASH TODAY! :D

There wasn't PT! :D Gosh, so cool lah, no PT. LOVE IT! :D Then we did this thing that we never did before, with coach either hitting the ball straight or boasting it so that we can either hit it straight or cross court. The thing is, we don't know what he is going to hit but we know it's either one. Which was rather new and fun even though I missed a few shots. D:

Paired with huiying to play 2-on-1 with coach! WE WON ONE SET! :D Score was 10-9. REALLY CLOSE! We were leading with 7-1 at first! I WAS LIKE DAMN HAPPY WHEN HUIYING'S VOLLEY DROP WORKED. TEEHEEHEE! WE WONNNNNNN! I mean, even though it was 2 sets game and the score was so darn close, winning just 1 set is like GOOD ENOUGH. :D 3 CHEERS FOR ME AND HUIYING!

Need to do Biology RAFT and Chemistry ws 2! BY TONIGHT. Cause I won't be free at all during the weekends. D: D: D: MY WEEKENDS! D: D: D: D:

8:15 PM

{Thursday, January 24, 2008}

This is what you get when you choose to betray.

I'm telling you, life sucks like shit. There's this budget essay that I need to crap out by tonight cause it's due tomorrow and I haven't finished my chinse newspaper article thing. Not to forget, I need to get my biology ws 1.1(RAFT) done by tomorrow cause I'm gonna be out for the whole weekend. & DEAR CASSY has already completed her biology ws and budget essay. I bet she would have said she completed the chinese newspaper article thing if I'd asked her today. CRAP, I can't sit with smart and hardworking people. THEY MAKE ME FEEL INFERIOR. Another 6 days for sitting with her. -gasp- (in case cassy sees this) I was just jokin', it isn't that bad BUT just try not to do things so fast okay. I can't stand it.

& the gasp word reminded me of GAP! Don't support GAP, Godiva, Hersheys, Toblerone, M&Ms, Nestle(Darn, I can't not drink milo!)... etc! STOP CHILD LABOUR AND EXPLOITATION OF WORKER! Okay, so I can't stop drinking milo but I'll try not eat hersheys or toblerone okay? I like toblerone! THIS SUCKS. D:

ADIOS. Have to spend a lot of time to figure out how to do budget essay and a lot of time just to do the budget essay.

7:50 PM

{Wednesday, January 23, 2008}

You know who you are, now stop bullshiting in my face.

I don't know if it's just me or that people around me are pissing me. Dang it. You have no rights to decide what I'm going to do, so don't just go assuming that I'll do something that I would never have think of doing.

& you, if you can't treasure it, then forget about it. Since you don't need me, I don't need your support too. It's okay, I can fly & probably even higher, without you.

I'M PISSED. GO AWAY.

8:35 PM

{Thursday, January 17, 2008}

This is going to be short cause I've got loads to do.

Went to HCJC today for training! GOSH, I MISS MY SENIORS! Okay, so the seniors I saw were adele, chenxi, lihong, woonlue and noreen, in the order of who I saw first. Hahahahas, and I think JC life is pretty cool, especially after listening to chenxi. I WANT TO GET INTO ARIES! CAUSE THEIR SHIRT IS RED! :D HAH, shall take bio and chem. :D

Today's training was quite slack, since there wasn't any PT. We did rally for quite long though, and I JUST LOVE RALLY. :D I don't know, but I think it's so lovable. :D YAY, LET'S HOPE WE GET TO DO RALLY EVERY TRAINING!

Adios, cause I need to do LA PPT, MATHS WS 1.1, WS 1.2. -.-

8:26 PM

{Tuesday, January 15, 2008}

DAMN IT, HUIYING! THE HP CHAIN YOU GAVE ME BROKE! AND I DONT KNOW WHERE THE RICE WENT!

T.T

ARGH!

8:14 PM

{Friday, January 11, 2008}

Sometimes, the movitation is the expectations others have in you.

I think I flunked my Chemistry Quiz. Seriously, I was like, blank, skip, blank, skip, turn paper, scan, frown, skip, ...
You can imagine it, I don't even understand some of the questions. Dang.

On a lighter note, fellow friends from shenyang are coming in week 4! :D Can't wait though we have to do planning(sadly). We even have to write a proposal on what we are going to do with them on the weekends. Right, I wonder if they wrote proposals for their school when we went over last time.

There's this CIP we have to do tomorrow. I'm not saying that we shouldn't do our very best in getting people to donate, but 4 hours of standing and asking for donations, for an organisation that gives scholarships to the needys it's not really what I think of as CIP. I'm not saying that I'm a racist, not welcoming the idea of helping a Muslim named organisation, I'm saying that I've always believed that asking for donations are for those who are handicapped, especially in need of the money, for life and medical expenses. I'm not saying giving scholarships ain't good, but I think if they phrase it in the way of providing education to those who can't go to school, I'll have a bigger heart for it.

Wells, let's see how tomorrow will be like. (:

我不要变得小小的
找不到自我
好象被什么人放在口袋
没天空

9:15 PM

{Thursday, January 10, 2008}

It rained today.

When the sun shine,
we shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
.
.
.
So go on and let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more

GOSH, I LOVE JENNY! :D

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

Mrs Chew went for her heart operation today so a relief teacher came and I really LOVE her. Gosh, she's like a bloody good chemistry teacher. I think she's way better than you know who. If only she can be a permanent one. D:

Well, adios. I know this post is like damn crap, but I'm trying to force myself to study for tomorrow's chemistry quiz. GAH.

By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHANIE AND SANDY! :D

8:39 PM

{Thursday, January 03, 2008}

Haven't been blogging for weeks.

Well, school has started and I haven't had any proper lessons yet, what with the PSL duty and CCA selections. Missed a lot of lessons these two days and I heard that Mrs Tan Poh Yee has started lessons and that means doing worksheet. -.- Apparently there's this physics homework that I have but I don't know what it is. Hah.

I think the school management is slightly crazy this year. Like seriously. Changing the overall weightage with SIA getting only 20% and EOYs getting 50%, I think I'm damn damn damn screwed. D: & our monday is so special now. We only need to reach school by 830 every monday! Good for those who has monday blues, like me. & I can't believe that before that, the teachers have to exercise in school. So weird.

I don't think I can manage it this year. Yeap, screwed before anything really starts. :( I only heard about Bio stuff today from Ms Lee and I already feel that I'm so so so dead already. GRAH. GO QIANWEN!

Well, here's to 2008.

9:59 PM